First of all, Kyle, what exactly are you going to do to go back to prison? Why is it that you eel the need to rape? How young were you when you found out about your father? Where does your mother fit into the equation? How old are you? I don't understand you wanting to appologize to your victim. Did you only rape once? Somehow I don't believe that. Maybe thats the only one you got caught at. I say this because you speak as if you have a serious problem with it. You do need help. And prison isn't the place for it. You aren't doomed. If you really want help and really want to change and you believe in God....God will forgive. Yes, I believe he will forgive a rapist. But I believe you MUST mean it in your heart. Only God and you will know if you are sincere at first. Others will later. My concern is that you get help. If you are for real, and your post is for real.....you really need to seek help. I can say this to all who read this. I was raped by my favorite uncle. He is in prison now because he kept raping. I never told anyone what he did until I was grown and found out he did it do my cousin and tried to with my sister. So, I know the pain of rape. It has screwed with my sexual relations and still does. But I forgive him, and I hope he finds peace with God and himself. So please, if you mean it....get help. If prison is what you want...the bad thing is...you have to commit a crime to get there. AND I betting it will be rape. So go get help.
WELL PUT dumfounded …LOVE your status and i totally agree with you response…
dumbfounded no it wont be rape i refuse to rape again . i was just going to confess to a crime .
I wish you the best. I hope you find the peace you need. We all have so **** many issues to deal with. There is no such thing as perfect. I don't even think there is such thing as normal anymore. Here I am telling you to get help. Hell, I need help myself! Such a hell of a life we live.
I heard bout an island for rapist. Its near new jersey i guess. Check it out
YOU NEED TO LEAVE THIS POOR GIRL ALONE. YOU HAVE HURT HER ENOUGH FOR A LIFETIME. I HOPE AND PRAY THAT SHE WILL NEVER CROSS PATHS WITH YOU AGAIN. LET HER BE FREE FROM THE PAIN YOU HAVE GIVEN HER.
I think you should admit to whatever crime you did and be at peace knowing that you wont cause her any more pain
wow..I have been raped by my spouse so as far as that being someone I knew its different when you know the person personally. It takes guts to come on here and put something like this on here.
You lose a persons trust when you are raped ..you lose your self worth..you learn nothing but fear because the other person that is abusing is only wanting to pleasure themselves. Its all about control and power.
I have educated myself on abuse ALL forms..it took me a long time to see I was even being abused my ex doesn't even believe he was abusive.
My counselor said that he was violent at times and I never would have said that but now that Ive been educated on sexual abuse ..all the forms of abuse I know at times it did get violent.
He has totally convinced himself that he didn't do those things.
He has NO idea what he took away from me.
One thing you said in your post was that your father expected you to be the same as him HOW SO?
I don't understand that comment. You are not your father and how the heck would you ever learn to be like him a Rapist!I know things can be learned by example but come on...
I will say what everyone here has said do not go face to face but maybe send her a letter in time...get help counseling a therapist whatever..I think you truly are remorseful for what you have done but..seeing her will only cause her pain and remembering what happened she will relive the incident. let her have some healing..Healing takes time.
When someone takes away your feelings of trust ..its hard to trust others ..its hard to go into new relationships because there is a fear of being hurt again.
But I don't think that your father would have expected you to be like him.... my raped me it was sodomization ....he got off lucky he is not remorseful
TRUST its very hard to get back...its a very sad world we live in
Very true, anonymousgirl. By the way, I love your status. I have often said that if life were like a book, I'd turn to the back to see if I needed to do any editing. Well, in my case....I would! As many others would too. Therefor, I guess all of our life's books are un-written till our end....whenever that may be. I sorry to hear how your ex did you. But the abuser NEVER sees what they have done, especially when its your ex. My ex abused me verbally and emotionally. He still doesn't think he did a **** thing wrong.
As for you, Kyle, I'm just wondering if you were molested or sexually abused as a child. I've done a lot of research on this issue trying to get over my issue with my uncle. I found out that most males that were abused sexually as kids turn about to be sex addicts in some form or another. You still never answered about your mother. Where was she during all this? Did she know your father raped? How old were you when you found out? Did he actually tell you he expected you to become a rapist like him? Did he tell you in words or some other form? AT least you know you have a problem. Thats a start. You must forgive yourself first. Seek help somewhere. You can't do it alone. You have too many deep rooted issues you need to work through. But NEVER try to reach out to your victim. If she EVER wants to forgive you...she will reach out to you. I promise you that. It's not her forgiveness you need. You need God's forgiveness and your own! You MUST make peace with God and yourself! Hang in there.
kyle: i can't pretend to speak for everyone. i am not a victim of rape. i went through sexual abuse for years, though, so i know at least somewhat what it feels like. so here's my advice:
1. DO NOT APOLOGIZE TO HER. don't go anywhere near her ever again. find out from a lawyer if she's alive and well. you said you would. good. i don't think it's a good idea to even send her a letter. to go back into her life would destroy any semblance of normality she's managed to build up.
2. seek out help immediately. if you're having the urge to rape someone, you need to remove yourself from that. you need to deal with whatever it is that's making you want that. get help. work through your issues.
there. that's all ican tell you.
Hi Kyle,
My name is Charlie and I'm one of the new folks on this panel/board. However, I am not new to sexual addiction recovery having been in recovery since November of 1986. I am also a retired counseling psychologist and I have, on occasion, worked with guys such as you. I know how hard it can be for you to deal with your thoughts and urges, but I wonder about something. Are you, in fact, a sex addict? Rapists can certainly be sex addicts, but rape is not about sex. Rather, it's about power, control, and the manipulation of your victim. So I don't know if this is the right place for you. I wonder if you'd do me a big favor?
There is an online test, the Sexual Addiction Screening Test, that can tell you for sure whether or not you are a sex addict. The test can be found on either of two (2) websites:
Sex Help
www.sexhelp.com/
Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health
www.sash.net/
At the top of either web site's Home Page, you will see the question, "Am I a Sex Addict?" If you will click on that question, the test will come up for you. You can take the test right there online (it should only take you two or three minutes) and then submit it for scoring. In just a few seconds, you'll know for sure whether or not you're a sex addict, and whether or not this panel/board is the right place for you to be. Just for your information, a score of 11 or higher usually indicates that a sexual addiction is present.
Once you've taken the test, get back with me and let me know the results, either way, whether you're a sex addict or not, I'll be able to offer you some resources that can help you. But I need to know whether or not you're an addict so that I can refer you to the proper sources of help. So get back to me and we can go from there.