here i am. alone and drunk again. had a screaming fight with my boyfriend in the parkinglot of our apartment. someone came up and asked us if we were ok. i nodded and smiled like a trooper and once the guy left started fighting again. screaming, "**** you", whatever. nothing new. i want to change. but how?

Hi Iris, You said you want to change but how - one day at a time is how you can make the change. Just for today don't drink. If you want help you can do a few things to get help. There is AA . You can check here about other non 12 steps programs that are available. You can also look into treatment/rehab. If you want help, help is available to you. Keep sharing with us and letting us know how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

dont drink, in fact why do you drink?

You "want to change. but how?" What are you saying to us and to yourself? "How" may mean that you're not sure what you want to change into? What would you be like if you were to change? What's the real you? Would you still love your boyfriend? Do you want to change yourself and, if so, in what way? Does this mean stopping drinking? Do you really want to stop? What would you be like if you did stop?
You can't change your boyfriend. Only he can and only if he wants to. But you can change yourself. If you want to. Go to an AA meeting and talk it over. Maybe get a sponsor. They can help you change. And I have a feeling that if you do you'll be a lot happier and you won't spend any more time screaming in the parking lot. Good luck.


Dear Iris,
I understand exactly where you are and am sympathetic to your problems. Although I haven't recently gotten into any screaming matches in a parking lot, I was once arrested for being drunk in public (after getting into a fight with some random girl who was just starting crap.) So I can relate. I know from personal experience it's not so easy "to just not drink". Sounds like an obvious answer but it doesn't always work that way. So you are not alone. I support you.