Hello everyone. Once again... I am in need of venting, because the current thoughts I have in my mind, will either have me dead or insane.
I was seeing a guy for almost 2 years. On and off. We were together, then broke up repeatedly because of infidelity. He always cheated, or after being together for a week SERIOUSLY, he would end it. I loved him. Honestly I did. I still do. He cheated a number of times. Did a lot of things behind me back. He would leave, not talk to me for like 2 weeks, then call me, and I'd let him come back (I take responsibility). Only because I loved him and I hoped,somewhere, deep down, he would change. And he never did. I was repeatedly hurt. Recently, I decided not to see him, because I had somewhere to attend. However I could not go where I wanted due to weather. So my friend ended up carrying me somewhere else. He saw me, said I lied and he lost all trust me and he stopped speaking to me. Monday, he called, wanted to meet to get his stuff. He came, used his charm and we did have sex. After, I decided to have a talk to find out if he enjoys this ''relationship'' we have, because I didn't. He said to my face, I don't like you, nor do I trust you. I'm over you. I honestly just used you for sex, thats all. And he proceeded to leave... I was traumatized... I never knew somebody could be that cold to do such. Today, I saw him with another guy and they both had hickeys on each other. And I know how much he loved to do that. So it's extremely difficult for me.. Extremely. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to cope with it. It seems IMPOSSIBLE to be normal, converse normal with people, go to places. I feel like dirt honestly :(
Hi SoulSearching20, I know you are hurting. I would seriously give consideration to just letting this guy go. I know it may take you some time to get over him but you deserve to be treated better. You are worth it. Keep coming and letting us know how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))
Hi Soul Searching 20. Well, i lost the first comment, so here goes again. I am so very sorry for what you are going through, but, there is someone out there that is going to treat you like a queen. BELIEVE ME!!! I was beaten and emotionally abused for 20+ years by my ex. He would say the most horrible things to me, just so he could go out and be with one of his many girlfriends. I even raised his 2 daughters. Well I divorced him and said that is it. No more men in my life. Well, after being along for 9 years, my prince came to my rescue almost 4 years ago. Someone I had known for 45 years. We have been married for 3 years now, and he is so wonderful. So, you hang in there and God will send you your soulmate. Pleasedon't give up or hink that it was all your fault. He obviously has the issues, not ou, my dear. Hang in there and be strong. You can do it! There is a book that my friend just had published. It is called " Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. It is written by Sally Marks and Jaqueline Howard. I think you can pick it up at Amazon.com... I am proud to say that I am Chapter 3. I am tossed in other chapters as well, but # 3 is my story. This book is really great. You can als contact Sally at her blog at..www.erasenegativity.blogspot.com
That is beyond devasting, I'm so sad to hear you suffering. I know it doesn't make it any easier when I say this but.... Consider it a blessing that he's out of your life. You deserve someone a billion times better. I'm going through the same thing and personally I'm realizing that all my abandonment issues I cont. To create with my relationships today.