Why do we do this to ourselves?
Pwagner3, if you are referring to skin picking, then I would love to know the answer for that. I know that for myself it became a bad nervous habit that started 10 years ago. It would come and go depending on what was going on in my life. It got bad again over a year ago when the economy took a nose dive and running a business was beyond stressful.
What is your experience with skin picking, if you don't mind my asking?
Hi Pwagner3,
I, too, wish I knew why I skin pick. I hate it, I can't stand the way I look or feel, but sometimes it makes me feel better/calmer about things? which makes me angry and hate it even more. I used to pick my sores, secretly, when I was little and of course pop every pimple - which I was provided plenty of and still have many at age 45. My mother was just here, a cause for irritation and she told me not to scratch myself b/c I would pop open all my sores. She proceed to tell me how she just spend a week w/my sister and she constantly picked at her thumb - I wish I could contain it to one spot and not my entire body/face - but I asked my mom if she told my sister to stop and she said no of course not, it would make her cry - my sister just moved away not to long ago and everything makes her cry - but I suspect my mother would not have told her to stop even if she were still living down the street - I moved away 15 years ago. At another time, my mom made the comment about me picking nothing. I told her I only pick at pimples or bumps on my skin. She of course told me I had a lot of them. She's very inconsiderate of me and my feelings and I've never felt loved by her, only need. She's hearing impaired and I've been taking care of her since my dad left when I was 11. I made/make all her phone calls, now she comes to my city for doctors appointments so I can go with her and help her hear what they say, I have a 21 yr old daughter who is fine but just a needed and me/me/me. I wish I knew when it was time for me to live MY LIFE the way I want to and stop beating myself up for having a bad family, bad relationships and feeling duped into caring for everyone when they don't give a crap about me.
I hope you find your answer, I hope we all do and that one day we feel the great relief we are searching for.
Peace,
Gina
Hi Gina, thank you so much for sharing with us. I am really so very sorry for what you are going through and for how your family makes you feel. It is truly so hard when you are everything for everyone else, because you lose your sense of self. Also, your mother's words probably cause you to pick even more because it adds additional distress in your life. I think that you are so amazing and so selfless for all that you do, though it's so important to carve out time for yourself. Someone told me recently that I need to learn to say "no" and become more selfish. She also said that the word selfish shouldn't be a negative one, because it's important to be selfish [in a positive way] in order to take care of ourselves and focus on our health and well-being.
Can you start taking time out of each day for yourself even doing something simple like going for a nice walk, watching a good movie, meeting a friend for coffee. What can you do today that will make you smile and feel good?
Also, in terms of your skin picking, have you ever sought therapy/treatment? What helped me most to break this habit is to distract myself when I want to pick.
Please keep sharing, I am here for you.