Helpful words

Sometimes I have a problem with binging. I had this problem before it turned into bulimia, saying to myself "well, I need to gain the weight anyways, so why not indulge myself with everything I can grab?"

These thoughts came up tonight after I conquered a fear food. A treat my mom had bought...a chocolate bar.

Now usually when I eat something sweet and dessertish, one side of me, the anorexic side, is yelling at me, saying "WHY ARE YOU EATING THIS? THIS IS BAD! STOP NOW!" But I've learned to push past that.
The side I have trouble with more so now is the binging side. The side that says "This is good! I want more! I WANT IT ALL! Go get more! MORE MORE MORE! You can eat it all! You need to gain weight!" ...and if I listen to that, and eat everything...then I want to purge.

It's like desserts open up this evil door, and so I try to avoid it. But as I stated in a previous post...that is not a way to recover.
So I decided to talk to my boyfriend about this (through text)...see if I could stop the cycle.
His words instantly changed my mentality, and I thought I'd share them with all of you, in case you struggle with the same thing:

"Love chocolate is a treat. It's meant to be something you have once in a while to spoil yourself really. You need to work on this. It's not a ticket that says you're free to indulge n every other treat because you had one, and you can do so without consequence. It's a step from your diet path, meant to relax your rules, not let you jump to a completely new path of over indulgence."

It made me see things so much more clearly. Everything is good in moderation.
Balance.

I'm glad to see that now

-Paige xoxo

Paige....thank you for sharing. Your boyfriend's wise words are refreshing! He seems to have some uncanny understanding of your struggles.
Moderation and balance...two key factors of recovery!
Take care...Jan ♥