Helpppp

My parents are ignoring me. I hate it. Tell me if this sounds stupid: I hate when my mom wears my clothes because it makes me feel fat. She's had four kids and can fit into a few of my clothes. I HATE it. I cry and get really pissed when she goes through my closet. I've been having lots of panic attacks lately, and my mom tries to talk to me about it. Like she'll say, "at least you aren't THAT skinny" IT MAKES ME FEEL FAT. That doesnt make me feel better. It makes me feel way worse. I want to kill her right now. I want her to just get my a therapist so I can get this over with. She doesn't believe me. She says that therapy makes you worse because its "psycho-babble bullshit". Whatever. She can let me die. I don't even want to get better anymore. I have no inspiration. I hate my ED and what it takes away from my life, but at the same time, its like my security blanket. Someone help me.

Lily,

Yes, our eating disorders can hear totally different messages from those that are intended... I was always frustrated with it myself, because what I KNEW rationally seemed to be in opposition with what I FELT... For instance, "You look healthy," was interpreted as, 'You are so fat!' Rational? Not at all! As my therapist pointed out, we would never describe an obese person as looking healthy! I KNOW it doesn't make sense, but that is still what I 'heard'...

My mom is afraid of my therapy, too. She, I believe, is terrified of me talking about her to a professional! Fortunately, I am grown and can make this decision for myself. Unfortunately, because of my parents' disdain for "psycho-babble bullshit", I didn't begin therapy until I was 33 years old and had suffered with an ED for 16 years! :0/ Don't let that happen to you, Lily! Make sure you ask for what you know you need. You can always see a school counselor on your own. And there are free support groups available as well. You CAN reclaim your life! It is harder without support, but it IS possible. :)

Sending love!!

Jen

I can really feel for you- parents are very hard to deal with sometimes- I live on my own now but I often felt like I was going crazy while living with my parents. How old are you? Will you be leaving for college or moving out soon? Hang in there and keep reaching out to us especially if this is the only support you can get right now. We are here for you!