Here I go again... going to try to publicly declare 1 day without b/p (again)

Hi Support Team,

Several days ago I made a commitment here on this site that I was going to go 1 day without b/p and I did it. Probably in large part b/c I had "accountability" (yes, even with strangers on this site).

Well for the days following my b/p-free day, I simply couldn't control it and continued with the evil habit...

Soooooo, again TODAY i'm going to CLAIM today WITHOUT b/p -- go away evil Bulimia!! I have to try whatever works, right?? lol

I'm physicially TIRED of vomitting!!

I'll report back to let everyone know how I did.

Even if I could start off going every other day with b/p it would be a HUGE improvement from my current status and then hopefully continue to decrease in frequentcy...

Thanks everyone. :)

xoxo,
Caroline

Caroline...making yourself accountable can be a powerful step. Breaking this cycle is very hard, as you well know. Please know that you are not judged for this, and you are supported in your efforts. Are you seeing a therapist? Would you consider a time in treatment in order to truly break the cycle and deal with the issues that perpetuate the disorder?
Take care, and please be gentle with YOU...Jan ♥

good for you. I remember the first day that I stopped purging. I fell asleep half of the day and was really exhausted. These are just the few steps into your recovery.
You really should see a therapist for this though. It may seem really nerve wracking, but it will all be worth it.

caroline,

good job. no journey can be done without taking the first step. and it looks like you are traveling the right path to be ED-free. no one is perfect. if one day you don't succeed, there is always the next day to try again.

make the proclamation everyday if it helps you to not indulge. we will be here to be happy with you when you succeed and to lift you up when you don't make the goal for the day. we all struggle, it is good to see you fight so hard. keep up, you can beat ED.

Scarlette

i know you can do it again caroline :-) so far ive mostly stuck to my b/p only after 7pm (one day i failed). i hope to join you soon for the no b/p at all day!! so go on, be my role model :-)

This is so good that you're doing this. I think I might have to steal your idea. I think it'll be easier for me to not b/p if I have someone to report back to and someone that's really going to hold me accountable. I've always said I wish I had that kind of support. Thank you for the idea!

I hope you're doing well today.
love&light
Dani

This reminds me ... "one day at a time."

so true, dani!
right, i shall check on you both tomorrow! and every **** day for that matter :-) even just to see if you're ok!!

hi everyone...

thanks for your support and I am THRILLED to report yesterday I went without b/p!

yes, i am seeing a therapist once a week - however, i may see if i can go to 2X a week, if possible. i just started last month though... its never seemed to work in the past.

for the past 2 weeks i've been out of the country on business (which only ADDs to the opportunity to b/p and lack of control over my meals so its been a little tough)..

OK - so i am going to go on a limb and try to go ANOTHER day without b/p. I just have to keep my brain busy and distracted on other things...

I appreciate your encouragement everyone so much!!!

much love from caroline...

Good for you!! One day at a time....keep checking in!!
Have a good one....Jan ♥

yikes -- checking in. this is going to be a struggle as i ate too much for lunch but THANKFULLY i'm at work and cannot purge. hopefully the feeling will go away soon and i'm not ruined for the day. often if i feel i've already messed up for the day its tough to regain balance.

ok - caroline will try to be strong..

xoxo,
me

that’s the vicious cycle. but remember by breaking it you will make it easier in the long run. you’re doing so so well, keep it going. keep yourself busy and active that usually helps to ignore your feelings more!

keep us updated! i’m cheering you on! with a dance and pompoms!!! :slight_smile: GO CAROLINE, GO CAROLINE!!

yeaaaa this is an aweosome idea as i wish you the best!!!!!!!

love
maureen

Go Caroline!! I'm totally routing for you. So far so good today with me. You inspired me. =) Hope you're doing well!!

love&light
Dani

u guys are SO awesome. even after my lunch yesterday which kept me overly full for hours i did NOT b/p yesterday!!:) :) i ate a semi-normal dinner and then forced myself to keep it IN me. so this makes DAY 2 of no b/p. what a V I C T O R Y.

why don't i have confidence i can keep this up?

i don't want to set myself up for failure with thanksgiving coming up but the reality of it is that i'll overeat and it'll be unbearable to keep it in me and then once i relapse its SO HARD to get back on track.. wish i were N O R M A L..

anyhoo, today is NOT thanksgiving so i'm going for Day 3 now!! :)

Dani how are you honey?

Everyone else?

xoxo,
caroline

caroline,

one day doesn't make a relapse. one day can make a 'i didn't make my goal let me try again tomorrow.' or it can START a relapse but it is only one day. if you choose the next day to go back to what you were doing, to forget about the day before and keep moving forward...
just some thoughts.

Scarlette

scarlette -- that was well said... i NEED to enforce that.. unfortunately, 1 day has always meant a relapse for me... i am SO WEAK! i am most certainly going to try to REVERSE IT IMMEDIATELY IF i relapse again -- thanks for writing this! i have to be STRONG and overcome this thing!

my best to you,
caroline

it's not weakness, it's more of letting ED win because it's easier than fighting. it's hard when ED comes in and whispers "you just blew it. you see that there. it shows you can't do it. come back to me i will take care of you. i will forgive you for turning away from me...." and most times we return because it is easier than fighting it off. returning to ED and asking ED to forgive us for leaving him. the worse abusive boyfriend i ever had was ED. when we start to see that it becomes easier and clearer to us that ED is destroying us. what do we have to do to fix this awful mess? leave ED. easier said than done, but the hope in this is that it can be done.

Scarlette

wow scarlette - never thought of ED as an abusive bf but what an amazing analogy! scary! i will reflect on this.

cheers,
caroline

Caroline,

Don't think about Thanksgiving. We have to be here for each other! I'm scared shitless too especially since we are so on the right track right now. This goal is making me feel so good even though other things have been really hurting me. I think that's what I need to hang on too. The sense of accomplishment and health I get from not b/p-ing. It does seem very temporary. I almost expect myself to fail. It's like I set myself up for it. But why, I can do this. I can't be strong. Maybe if I go long enough my body can re-teach itself to quit all those nasty habits.

DAY II, going strong.

Dani