Hey everyone, I am new here. I decided to look for ways to c

Hey everyone, I am new here. I decided to look for ways to cope or find new systems of support or a listening ear because I’ve been going about my struggles pretty alone for far too long. People in my life know I pull my hair, I became somewhat open about it in my early twenties when I was not pulling (and thought I was cured) and here I am at 30 struggling more than I ever did before. My pulling has gotten far out of control to the point where my driving is distracted because I’m trying to pull the correct hair out of my head or because I found a “good one” and I need to pluck the bulb off so my focus is no longer on the road and I’m becoming a risk to myself and everyone around me.

I have tried to correct my behaviors many times over and many times over I have failed. The longest I went without pulling was about four years but I found myself in a very emotionally stressful and mentally draining break up and spiraled me out and allowed the urge to pull to take me over. I haven’t stopped pulling since and it’s becoming more and more of a fixation and hinderance.
I have new growth coming in on both sides of my head, along with my crown area and oftentimes the growing hair sticks out of my ponytail or I have to clip my hair with a million clips.
I guess I’m just looking for someone with some help other than therapy because I’m already in enough medical debt, I just want some relief, thank you.

@Compulsivedebt Have you tried getting some fidget toys or trying to keep your hands busy? I went to therapy/treatment centers a few years ago for this and they suggested fidget toys which worked for a while. How are you pulling when you drive? With one hand? Is there anything specific that triggers it or no?

@cupcake520 With one hand yes, but playing with the bulb or trying to find “the one” that’s bothering me sometimes without thinking I end up using both hands (a lot of back road driving) and then next thing I know I’ve drifted over one way or another. I never used to pull while in the car but I think my mind wanders so much that I begin pulling before I know it. I’ve never had a fidget toy or anything that was specifically made for that but that’s a good idea to try it out. High stress/anxiety triggers it in social settings, otherwise no I just find myself pulling my hair out and it’s getting bad