Hey everyone, this is Akeem. So Im a Black Bi guy living here in Florida. My boyfriend/fiancé has Graves Disease and we have been together 4 and 1/2 years. They have had it since they were 25 we are both 35. Lately they are distracted, irritable, unpredictable and emotionally withdrawn. They seem really unreachable, we haven't touched, kissed in many months ;their affection and desire just seems to wane. Not towards me but towards everything they just don't seem to even care about anything they aren't excited about anything except social media and trivial ness. They tell me they still feel the same but they are so all over the place...They have told me they love me but then they don't remember a thing. They act like Im a stranger its so confusing. They don't go out anymore but hate being home, they complain all the time and they are so irritable this person is normally so funny and calm. But when they wake up in the morning they smile at me and if Im not home they call me up.
They called me up last night and told me they love me, and how much i mean, and that I have to stick with them through thick and thin, as if they knew i was ready to quit. I have read up a bit and know a little Im in healthcare. About a year ago they started gaining a little weight after years of being rail thin, now they are obsessed about there weight, and their image. They tell me they don't recognize themselves and that they are fat. At 6'3 210 thats not possible. But I work out with him we run in the park on the days that he is up to it.
I love them a lot but this is to much to process. We are sexless and contactless. They don't, kiss , touch heck even compliment nothing but they do seem happy when they see me. They are in such a funny place. Even though it hurts me I try to give them space and be a friend. The other day they started crying and telling me God was cursing them with this horrible disease and how they were going to be alone. They told me to leave if i want, and went on a rant. Than they told me they need a wife to love them, and how that would solve everything. I just looked and was like wtf honestly. I have invested years of my life for you to come at me with this. We even were discussing having children together but this last 6 months has been a complete 180. Their doctor did tell them that their levels were off . When I addressed this they were telling me they feel pressured and then just started telling me about their past. They initiated all this they even pursued me. They rant about people who have hurt them and how they are trying to heal, and how they wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally. For me it has the same effect it doesn't hurt any less cause you didn't intend it , but I do pay attention to the fact that they are so sick but this is pushing me to the brink. I told them to see a psychiatrist cause this seems like too much. And then their attitude has been rude and combative. Its like they are sabatoging it; they want to control it but can't, and then they don't remember anything. This seems so toxic now.
Ok , just for clarity's sake i am assuming you incorrectly used, 'they' and 'them' plural terms, and meant single terms for your 'one' boyfriend.
Going from that, i feel very sorry for what you are going through. I think your boyfriend loves you, but thinks God has cursed him for being gay and gave him graves disease, and that this is a sign from the heavens that he should find a wife, and that being gay is a sin.
Now from all the near-death experiences that's i've seen on youtube i can say God loves everyone including gay people, and doesn't punish anyone.
But your boyfriend needs help, i suggest you encourage him to further his treatment of graves disease and find professional specialists who can help him with his Graves disease to try to give his life back to him.
Irritability is common for Graves disease, i know it's affecting you personally, but i assure you he is not the cause of it, it's the disease that is causing it.
Here are some helpful websites that learn you how to be supportive of your bf.
http://www.wikihow.com/Support-a-Family-Member-Who-Has-Graves%27-Disease
http://gravesdiseasecure.com/advice-family-friends-graves-disease-patients/
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/graves-disease/discussion/living-with-someone-with-graves
We are here to support you, if you have any more questions or need of help, please do not hesitate and say so.
I thank you , this is just so overwhelming. It may be best to just take a break, they have truly pushed me away when I did nothing but loved them, and it was he who pursued me. I have been there for them in both highs and lows within their life and they truly have given me their behind to kiss. My friends all told me I'm crazy for dealing with this, they don't understand the condition they tell me people do what they want. Just last night they told me they didnt love me and was just lying when they said it. Strange considering that it took me at least year to say it back to them.
He is dealing with so many other things and they have been downright cruel. You and i have the same thinking God has nothing to do with their condition its just a genetic predisposition. Im starting to think maybe I set myself up for this, I should have known years ago that they were really sick , but i never saw this coming. So much disrespect disregard and its truly as if they couldn't care less. Why would you waste someone's time like that. Than they can remember, and they blame everything on us all, never their fault, never accountable. For my health, I had to address these things and more and its likely we have brokenup.
This may be necessary so and never going to admit that they were wrong, it'll be slanted as if it was all me, but at least we could have or will persevere our freindship but only when they acknowledge how they hurt me and make an effort to correct it.