Hey guys, I need your opinion because I am tangled in a relationship with a woman who's behaviour sometimes makes me highly question my comfort zone. She has big family problems, especially with her father, for he sustained a second family for years and it didn't come out for about 10 years. She is full of anger towards him and in regular hypnosis therapy, so she says. I actually don't know if she really goes there. Sometimes I doubt. Her personal appearance is very seductive, provoking, lots of tattoos (no offence, I like it and have some as well).
So here the incidents: sometimes I sense in her this anger towards men. For instance, she comes home from a routine medical check and says. 'This doctor, one should do something about him. He made inappropriate sexual comments and verbally harassed me.' These stories came now 3 times in 6 weeks. Two doctors and the UBER driver. What really kicked my ethical red flag was when we were at the pool with her 4 year old nephew. He is African American. She looked at him and said laughing, 'He is a real As...ole kid. I like it. And she made a comment towards his bigger genitals and referred it towards his African ethnicity. What the heck!!? I thought, when she came up with this. But she put it off as a joke. Laughing. Now there was Xmas and we have this tradition of receiving St. Claus and his 'evil' black dressed helper who, in the tradition, checks if kids behaved well over the year. Every year the little nephew is in fear of the figure. He even dresses his knight armor to defend hisself and the family, he says. Now she videotapes him when he is standing in front of this figure, obviously anxious, and shares this video all over social media making fun of the little guy. Very openly very amused about the fear the nephew has. She also doesn't come short in showing all friends the video and drawing arrows in it to drive everybody's attention towards the little guys' face. She gets a lot of joy from it. When I call her out on it, she puts it off as a joke. As usual and thinks, I am too hyper sensitive.
What do you think about this? Can it funny when your kids fear an invented figure like this? Am I exaggerating? For my standards, it feels off. This together with some other character traits drove me towards the narcissism forum. Mainly, because I sense sometimes she gets pleasure from humiliating males.
To heck with figuring her out....GET out! You need away from this person immediately. She is not right! She is dangerous. Why do you consider yourself "tangled"? GO....and don't look back. When your comfort zone is in question, it means your gut has been screaming at you and you didn't listen so GUT had to call in the troops, the whole comfort zone. Please exit to save yourself from all this. Not safe.
@kelly72 well, actually I pulled back from the relationship. Then she said my reaction is exaggerated and jealous. I reconsidered. Then she dumped me and vanished with her friends - with another guy meanwhile. And she said exactly this to me, that she had a bad GUT feeling about me. I would poison her since she finds herself withdrawing from people in anxiety and with absolute numb feelings for anything. she doesnt feel herself anymore. she is afraid of me. therefore tangled. I dont know anymore if I am the narc or her.