Hey guys, little back story... I am 26 yr old Man. I have be

Hey guys, little back story... I am 26 yr old Man. I have been suffering from HOCD for about a year now. It all started when I became addicted to weed/porn. My life was completely fine until I had my heart completely broken by a girl. I used weed/masterbation/porn as an escape from reality. I was literally high 24-7. This in return cause anxiety. Well somewhere in that time I began watching shemale porn. I became heavily addicted to this. I am always disgusted and ashamed by it but I can't stop. I still to this day don't know why I am addicted to it because I am completely turned off by it immediately after I watch it. Anyways, one day I thought to myself (jokingly) "what's next, am I going to think I am gay?" This day changed my life. I began to have disgusting intrusive thoughts that I can't get out of my mind. I constantly question my sexuality 24-7. I look through forums for relief. I constantly try to do things "straight." Every man makes me anxious. I have never been attracted men my whole life. "what if I am gay?" "Do I find him attractive?" I stopped smoking weed thinking it will help, it hasn't. I've seen a therapist, he only makes it worse. I am depressed/anxious from the moment I wake up to the moment I sleep. I even have intrusive dreams. I literally can't get rid of these frustrating looping thoughts. I know I am a straight man and OCD has attached itself to me. But it doesn't help. Does anyone have any insight? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

1. Only because your therapist didn't work out, doesn't mean that therapy can't. Be sure it is an OCD specialist.

2. You need to stop with the "proving yourself straight" thing. It is reassurance which is counter productive with OCD.

Stop watching porn all together. For more infos on porn addiction and escalation: yourbrainonporn.com

4. Study up on OCD, how it works and how it can be overcome. Mark Freeman has a great YouTube Channel about OCD.

5. So does Eddy Defoe. His is more focused on HOCD. I recommend you watch both.

6. You are not alone!

1 Heart

Thank you @Olongjohnson I've been on that website at least 100 times already haha. OCD man... I watched a couple Eddy Defoe videos. It helped temporarily. I will definitely research Mark Freeman. I've tried a bunch of times to quit porn. It's definitely my heroin, that's forsure. But I won't give up! That you for the support!

The videos aren't meant to make you feel better, you know? You ought the take the advice that you are giving there.

From Anxiety & Panic Disorders to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)