Hey... I've never really done this sort of thing before, so

Hey... I've never really done this sort of thing before, so please bare with me. My husband is addicted to Percocets, whenever he thinks of his child's mother and his traumatic past, he pops them, or he'll pop them just to not have to think about any of it. Whether or not he's on them, he's an amazing husband and provider who still calls me beautiful and treats me like a queen. His mother is loving yet severely overprotective of him and it wasn't until he confessed his addiction that I understood why. See we started out as friends and as friends he had no problem with letting me know of his addiction. Starting off together he told me that I was the reason he didn't need percs, yet I noticed that our relationship was becoming very tight knit early, but I was okay with it because I wanted him just as much as he wanted me or so I thought. Looking back on it, I noticed that I became his new addiction, and it made me question whether or relationship went far because he was truly interested in me, or because of withdrawals that made him crave something stronger. I do not regret any second that I've spent with my husband, when he's away at work, we still fall asleep together on the phone and find random fun things to speak about. Yet, today was a bad day, although he's asleep on the phone right now at his hotel room in NYC, we got into an argument earlier, there was shouting, pain and a lot of tears, he was only 4 days clean, and then he decided to drink something called "Haitian Rum" and became belligerent amongst his friends, escalating into threats to the hotel staff, ending off the night my husband popped 6 percocet pills. Although us sleeping on the phone together is a routine when he's away for business, I'm pretty much on the phone just to ensure his safety, and I'm terrified... I don't know what to do, I've read blogs, openly communicated using "I feel" and "I need" but I'm just trying to save my husband, who absolutely refuses to do any type of counseling.

Wow, this sounds so painful. Sounds like you are doing everything right, and are being responsible. Sounds so scary. So sorry he absolutely refuses to seek counseling. Does he even admit that he has a problem? Does he know that alcohol plus Percocet can kill him? Are there any Nar-Anon support groups in your area? It's a 12-step group that is allied with Narcotics Anonymous, and it's for family & friends of users. (Not to be confused with Narconon, which is a Scientology front group). Perhaps people from Nar-Anon could give you some pointers on what to do next. Do other people aside from you know of his problem? If so, could you do an intervention?

He knows he has a problem, and thank you, I will look into the Nar-Anon group for him. Everyone knows of his issue, he has no shame in admitting it, until he starts to feel compared to other addicts who are crack and heroin users.

@India_Thomas, I hope the groups are helpful. Clarification: Nar-Anon group is for family & friends of addicts, such as yourself. Narcotics Anonymous (NA) is for the addict himself. Even if the addict refuses to attend NA, family & friends find attending Nar-Anon valuable.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Individual counseling will really help you figure out next steps and how you want to manage this relationship. You'll learn valuable tools to help you communicate with your husband that might encourage him to get help. You are loved!

1 Heart

@cbgrace1980 thank you