Hey people, I am new on the website and I think I need help

Hey people, I am new on the website and I think I need help. I am a socially awkward person. I feel a lot of anxiety when a social event is coming up that I've got to attend. Actually that's an understatement. I literally torture myself mentally preparing for the tiniest social encounter that I'm supposed to have.. as small as going to the salon for a haircut. The thought of having to ask the person how I want my hair kills me.. and that's just one example. I dread going to the bank, grocery shopping and to work with the fear of having to interact with people. Sometimes its so bad that I think I should kill myself or something because how am I going to lead my life with such problematic behaviour and I am actually very young so I really have a lot of years to live with this ****** version of myself till I eventually die and be absorbed into oblivion. obviously meeting new people IS IMPOSSIBLE for me and whatever limited friends I had, I pushed them away because they aren't a constant bag of neediness like me and it could be because of jealousy or whatever but their behaviour irks me and upsets me as they don't need me as much as I need them (they all have hoards of other friends while I have (or had IDK) just the three) So basically now I am lonely and sad and socially awkward person with no friends at all.

1 Heart

Social anxiety is horrible I know. You are on the way to getting there because you realise you need help. I used to use drink to try and get through being around people. Give yourself credit when you do get out. Making the post shows you can reach out. Remember things change and you said you are young so you time to work on anxiety. Just think what it will be like when you can be the person you want to be. Take care

welcome to the site! I am the same way, though at this point I am trying hard to overcome this. what I found was the reason I did this had a lot to do with insecurity about myself. I have worked hard to change that thought process and accept and even like myself, and now I have seen a change in how others relate to me. but still...interacting with others makes me nervous, and I still have no realtime friends in my life (though I have made several cyberfriends here). I think that what you are experiencing can be changed for the better. have you thought about seeing a therapist or counselor? I did for a while, and it helped me. that neediness may come from the same insecurity I felt. I would also push ppl away and those that stayed I needed constant validation that they liked me...because I didn't like me, so how could they? I encourage you to explore this idea, and also to feel free to come here and reach out to us. big hugs :-)