Hi all. I have a question for everyone please.Something I do

Hi all. I have a question for everyone please.Something I do that I haven't seen others mention is completely twisting what others say to me. I'm starting to see that I do that...a lot. It's like I have aural dyslexia or something. I do it with everyone! For instance...we have a cat...which is technically mine as it was a bday present a few years back. However, the cat and I don't always see eye to eye and she tends to prefer my husband... I'm acceptable if he's not around. Probably not the ideal pet for me and my rejection issues, ha! Husband could take or leave the cat either way. We're sitting here today, the cat on his lap as usual, and he laughs and says, "So, if we ever divorced who would get the cat?" My mind instantly jumped to, "He wants a divorce, he's planning to leave me." I told him this, not in an accusatory way but mostly to give him an example of how my mind works. Of course, he said that was absolutely not what he meant and kind of chuckled at me. I didn't take offense at his laughter...this time...but I wish he could somewhat understand that it really isn't funny. It's torture to be a slave to a messed up psyche and thought processes. Do you ever experience anything like this? Someone can say something completely innocuous to me and my mind hears something wretched. I've just been living what I thought was normal for me...because I always believe the awful thing I pseudo hear. Don't know how to stop this. Is it offset of having BPD? Thank you.

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Hi Jennibeck - I guess, for me, anything that was prefaced with "so, if we ever divorced" would probably trigger some feelings of impending abandonment. As someone who has BPD these words wouldn't be funny to me either, although I understand that your husband was making a joke. What does the group think?

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well I can see both sides of this story... He probably just meant to insinuate that he loves the cat but maybe worded it wrong. You had an emotion pop up... I dont believe either one of you is wrong. I bet he wouldnt have said that if he realized how it made you feel?

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@Alllitup Yes, you’re right. I do believe he didn’t mean anything by it and wouldn’t have said if he knew what I’d think. I guess it’s good that I’m at last aware of it now and can work toward change.

I would feel the same way too. Hugs

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I actually have been catching myself doing this lately. I seem to catch it most when it comes to texting. I'll read the text the first time, and think someone said somethings completely different than what they did. I'll get offended for a second, then I re-read it again, and notice what I thought they said isn't what they said at all. In fact, it was my brain twisting it into something it's not. I have always struggled with jumping to conclusions and assuming there is some underlining meaning when it pertains to things that are triggers for me. As far as your example is concerned, I think it is completely natural to have "so, if we ever divorced" trigger feelings of abandonment. That would send my brain into a negative place too.

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@codesandkeys Haha, yes texting can be especially tricky because you can’t hear tone of voice etc.

You are not the only one. Oh my goddess, this happens to me very often. Even the smallest joke will set me off and make me assume the absolute worse. I know what you mean too, by you saying it as an example of how your mind works. I hate feeling like someone can't joke around me.. but its true. Sorry you are going through this.

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@tearsofjoy Thank you. It’s just a huge relief knowing I’m not the only one.

Thanks for your input everyone. It's so good to know I'm not alone in this. So many times in the past he has told me I was twisting his words and I would just get angrier but now I see he is right and I really do do that! Two more days til I start intensive therapy. Can't wait to learn how to change these things. Thanks again ya'll.