Hi all I'm new here. My boyfriend as had ed for 2&half yrs I

Hi all I'm new here. My boyfriend as had ed for 2&half yrs I noticed things weren't right but didn't like to say anything but I found him secretly taking Internet supplied viagra then it took me all day to pluck courage to confront him & he didn't really know what to say he didn't really say much at all even couldn't look at me either & I let it go. I knew he had been watching port as we shared a android tablet he didn't clear his history, i actually caught him watching it once which killed what with all ed trouble it was devastating. Then after 2yrs when I thought he'd got over it I find these pills again so I took them & hid them. 2 weeks went by without sex & it all got on top of me because I was trying it on but he was turning away I got upset & walked away. He finally admitted there was a problem & pills were prescribed by an online pharmacy (oxford) he as 1 pill left I want him to see a Dr but just don't know how to raise the subject again. This is killing me cos I can't touch him when I want too I have to wait for him. Our relationship isn't the same & because he's lied to me in past & won't talk to me about how he feels or what's wrong I spoke I've chosen not to talk to him about how I feel ( I always did though I never kept any secrets from him ) Has anyone got any advice for me

1 Heart

I'm a 36 year old man who has suffered with ED my entire life. Believe me, I know how tough it is for both you and your partner. I lost me Fiancee , my flat, my mind because of it! ED can be treated, but firstly and this is the MOST important part of it all. There must be 'acceptance' He wil feel a sense of shame that he has it. He has absolutely no reason to! And nor do you! I understand entirely, however much you love each other and I believe you do , this can still cause a communication breakdown. My advice - your partner needs to confied in close friends! No doubt he will be horrified at first, the thought of doing this. I l know was. By doing this you relieve the burden. You will be surprised how understanding they are! This began my journey of healing! Talk to people that 'aren't' in your relationship! Viagra is good, again no shame needing that. I do! Also about the porn, I get why he looks at it and I get why this may be upsetting. Please allow me to put a different slant on it. If a man can't get it up in front of a woman, he feels guilty, she looks back at him feeling guilty too! You've heard of the phrase 'Wank Bank?' Using porn takes away the emotions and the hurtfulness. It means it takes away the disappointment. In a way, not hurting you! I hope this makes sense and please, please let me know if I can help more. I want to lead the way in ending the perceived Taboo .

Thank bob I understand what you are saying god this so very hard to deal with i don't pressure him into anything I know he's not capable of but I do know he is ? 3 yrs ago we we're very very sexual then it just changed all of a sudden. I wish he'd go see a Dr for professional help not just a virtual Dr Who could be anybody. Did you know that viagra can cause damage to your heart & seeing he's got hypertension I'm really worried & as for him talking to a friend it's probably NIL. I've had such a stressful year my diagnosis of underachievement thyroid just makes me feel like **** everyday & my son developed epilepsy over a few months I'm at my wits end. I will try pluck up courage to talk to him try get him to change his mind on seeking professional help. Nice to here from someone who knows what he's going through & advice x

@ashleigh68 Just wondered how you were getting on? I hope you have been able to seek help but will totally understand if you have been unable to for whatever reason. Why would he not be able to confide in a close friend? I’d be interested in what you think to that?