Hi every one , , I have decided to blog on this site just to share my experience , , I have not had a drink since feb 9 2013 . however I have continued my life since I left rehab a dry drunk . I have been inconsistent in AA , have not read the big book , done steps or got a sponsor . I did fall in love with a narcissist 6 months sober and it has almost made me relapse a month ago . . I DIDNT BLOOMIN LISTEN !! I was TOLD to not get in a relationship , I was TOLD but my good old ways of " winging it " were still there , , , only difference was I didn't have booze in my hand , ,
lessons learnt and be careful in recovery guys , ,
your worth it , x
1 Heart
Well said and congrats! We can't go back to the past. All we can do is see it, own it and learn from it.
As a recovering anorexic/bulemic (10 yrs without those) addictions can creep back up. Mine almost did with my narc. I feel for you amd how you almost relapsed but didn't (go you!)
I encourage you to do what you need to do for the alcoholism so you can stay sober. It might help with your narc situation as well.
Both sides of my family have alcoholics so I am vulnerable. I will go have 2 beers once a week to get out and socialize. I won't drink when there is something wrong because I could slip into it easily. I admire your courage and strength! I pray you see it in yourself too
1 Heart
ive had bulimia when younger , , , and anorexic thoughts now , I am a walkng addict !!
gym a no as broke my foot .
ocd tendencies but not hovering the deck anymore . .
im manic , a co dependent manic addict . . i am avidly trying to keep myself in check , , x
this site is helping me a lot x
1 Heart
ive been to them daily for last 3 weeks , the day i stopped contact . i decided in my head to catagorise alcohol and narc in same place . addictive , obsessive and destroying . .
i cant go back to drinking , it almost killed me . For all of you that relapse of alcohol is harsher than the drinking you had stopped at last . . ITS TRUE!!
I was told in recovery to set boundaries . . ive never had them !
Im a walking people pleaser and walked straight into the arms of a emotional taker , , a narcissist . i didn't even know what the word meant till 5 weeks ago . I thought it was the out there rude purple trousered idiot . . mine was a covert that i just thought a bit quiet ,, , or autistic .
In alcohol recovery ONE YEAR before stepping into a relationship . . seems a long time but its for the rest of your life , ,
Alcoholism is a deadly disease , , so is narcissism . .
stay safe
x
I am not sure what a dry drunk is other than someone that doesn't follow AA's plan AA works fro some but 12 step programs are not research based. Neat article here. http://www.psmag.com/books-and-culture/75-years-alcoholics-anonymous-time-admit-problem-74268 There are no real rational reasons about the one year thing. I am sure you have some stuff to figure out but maybe you are better with someone else helping you, maybe not. Stay positive and do productive things. I wish you luck on your journey.
1 Heart
AA in my opinion stands for altering attitudes , , i was dry , , BUT my manic brain continued, , I needed to find me , the sober me , not the narcissistic , selfish and addict me . the new me with boundaries for my happiness , acceptable boundaries which would help me in my future relationships , a 50.50 healthy relationship .
I was told that this takes around a year but hey i am no expert . i got this from my therapist from the priory clinics.
I am only sharing this as I got burnt , its my experience which led to me being a victim of being a co dependent and being in a vulnerable state in early recovery and trying to find the new me .
I thought i would post this just before i looked at the site .
thankyou though for your comments as they are helping me in my search
x
I know , , im an idiot , ,
an alcoholic washed up dry drunk that is well n truly duped by a narcissist .
god I always do things the hard way . .
still , , , soon meditation time and tomorrow is a new day , a sober day and a no contact day . . im sure in between flash backs , feeling sick , panic attacks, dog walking , kids and getting phone calls from my mother who although adorable, sounds much like a cat being throttled on the phone I shall get through . .
for what doesn't kill you bla bla bla , , and sense of humour coming back so a good sign , ,
x
I haven't laughed for a very long time , , ive tried to fake it , , to continue but since asking for help , , which I Never do it has started to return . I felt lonely for ages , HUGELY ALONE when he left , but even a month later it is slowly slowly starting to return , , I would like the old me back , , wherever she is . I liked her .