Hi everyone, I am new and this is my first post. I have qui

Hi everyone, I am new and this is my first post. I have quite a long history of cycling with anorexia and binge patterns and after 2 years of restricting, binged for days. In the moment it happens, it feels so good to let go and now I am feeling physically uncomfortable and guilty. I'm trying to work on forgiveness and get back on a "normal" track, but I still feel powerless over food. Knowing there are others out there also trying to work on themselves is reassuring. Would anyone mind sharing some other ways to self-forgive and get back on track?

Personally, I only binge bc of my anxiety so for me just finding something to occupy my time helps. Generally i feel a lot of people can benefit from having connection/conversations with other people to make them feel "less empty", which is a grim way of saying it but I feel like it's true to some extent for most people. You shouldn't ever blame yourself for having uncontrollable urges. From what I can understand you basically relapsed it I'm reading right. Do you know if anything in particular caused it?

Usually 2 years is the longest I have ever gone staying on track. There have been some big life changes over the past year and I feel like trying to control those things with restricting brought on heavy anorexic behaviors and led to constant thoughts of food. I have a fear of gaining weight because I was (very) heavy my entire life. The rational part of my brain recognizes and understands what normal healthy eating is and should be, but getting caught up in the flip side of the disorder is also a battle. I've never opened up this much to anyone in the past, so it's a big step talking to family members and joining a group. I truly have a desire for wellness. Thank you for responding!

@BackAndForth83 I’m glad/hope you keep reaching out and keep us updated on your path. Do you live with anyone who could help you stay on track? What have you tried other than joining this group(not saying this isn’t a big step bc it is)?