Hi everyone, I need a little advice. My boyfriend and I hav

Hi everyone, I need a little advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now (we live together too). Throughout our relationship, we have had some issues, mostly being his temper. It has gotten bit better over time, but it still rears its head once and a while. If I try to talk to him about something thats bothering me about him, or us, etc..he gets really defensive, and instead of coming to comfort me, or reassure me, he will say, well what about me? Thats how I feel, but it’s in such an aggressive manner. Than that will upset me and I start crying, and ask why he can’t just come give me a hug, tell me it’s going to be ok, and we can go from there. He seems to have an issue with comfort, and reassurance, thinking it’s a ‘band aid solution’. I try to tell him that’s not what I mean, just that in the moment when im crying and upset, I want my partner to comfort me, and be loving etc...So this fight has turned into a two day fight, and I’m now staying at my moms for a few days to clear my head. He’s so great in other ways, but I don’t want it to be like this forever.

1 Heart

I think he either needs to realize that for you, this is what you need, it may not be how he needs to feel loved, but that is what works for you. That is what love and compassion are all about!

Thanks, and yes I agree! I dont understand how some people just can't/don't have empathy! Its a requirement for a relationship, in my opinion....I just dont know if he's capable of changing.