Hi everyone! I was bullied relentlessly for years as a k

Hi everyone!

I was bullied relentlessly for years as a kid, almost on a daily basis. Almost all my cl***mates joined in, and there were even a few teachers who joined in as well. I got beat up and ganged up on a lot. To make matters worse, I was struggling in school, and I was yelled at by my parents and teachers that I was "not even trying." Whenever I tried to stand up for myself, everyone would just laugh at me. I would tell my teachers, and they wouldn't do anything about it. It was awful.

I am 33 now, and have gotten a lot better. I've had lots of therapy, which has helped. My family now understands why I was struggling in school and that I was defenseless. In the past week though, I have been having a rampage of anger issues, wanting to get back at the bullies. I will sometimes scream at the top of my lungs in my car or beat the hell out of the couch, simulating kicking a bully's ***. I also feel shame and guilt for not being able to stand up for myself better, even though it wasn't my fault.

I really don't like this feeling, because I am not an angry person. I am one of the kindest people you will ever meet, and I just don't feel like me. I am reminding myself, however, that this will p*** and is only temporary. I haven't felt this way in a LONG time.

I think one of the things that set me off is that quote that says something like, "We will never get rid of bullying. We are creating a generation of victims." i was so infuriated when I read that. Whoever said that needs to be told, "don't be scared" while being held at gunpoint to give them a taste of their own medicine.

One thing I have been brainstorming on is starting some kind of foundation to help people who are being bullied or who have been bullied in the past and are suffering from PTSD like myself. I want to encourage young people to stand up for those who are in distress and to lead by example. It would be a great way to make something positive out of my traumatizing experience.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my story, and I hope I can meet some great people on here and help each other out!

Chris

Hugs and support to you. I don't think you should be ashamed of the anger you feel. You have been through a lot. The bullies who tormented you have walked away and went on with their lives. Perhaps even forgetting that they ever did anything to scar you at all. Anger isn't a bad thing, no feeling is either good or bad. What we decide to DO with the emotion makes it good or bad. anger is an emotion we can use to spur us on to greater processing, understanding, and healing. what are your thoughts? what does the group think?