Hi everyone. Its been a couple months since I've been on. I hope everyone has been well!
Well I've met someone and has shown signs of sexual attraction... i was able to smoothly pull the pms card but absolutely fearing the actual "talk".
Ive cried every night thinking about this conversation. Ive pathetically practiced with closed fiends and alone.... the fear just swells.
I know and understand rejection is a possibility. I just feel.... so horrible. I hate this so much. This person who makes me so happy - I wish i could cut ties with him JUST so I wouldn't have to disclose this and continue as a hermit alone in my house.
If anyone had any advice on how to disclose your hsv status to your partner, id really appreciate it.
Love always xoxo
@m_skywalker_ Welcome back to the group. I have been on the other side of that conversation and I do not remember the words of the conversation, just the honesty and understanding. I did my own research and decided that the risk of a bad case of shareable but treatable acne was a small thing compared to a life time of happiness. I know it is hard to face possible rejection but how he reacts is not a reflection on you as much as it is of the kind of person he is. It is also a very good indicator of if he is worthy of your heart. Good luck.
It’s tough to have the talk but it’s better to just rip off the bandaid now. When I told my partner, I expected the worst but he did some research on his own and was willing to take the risk. Having this is a blessing and a curse, the curse being the stigma behind it and knowing you have this for life but also a blessing because you know what the true intentions are of the person you’re dating. If you are just a fling that person would walk away from your honesty but if you truly mean something to them they would stay to see where this goes and figure it out.
so much great advice here! i echo all the comments! you are doing what i did and was "Always" successful! as stated, the results will be an omen of the type of person he truly is...
again, here is how i did it:
here is what i did when i was in your shoes. i dated many. NONE ever rejected me. i too have HSV2 Gen. I, **DATED PLATONICALLY** for as long as i dared. i STRESSED to my date(s) there will be NO SEX AT THE TIME! there was to be a time and place for everything and this was hardly the time OR the place.
i figured should they choose to leave, i would know they were after only one thing... NONE ever left! we would continue to date PLATONICALLY and enjoyed each other. we dated "Sexless" so much that some of my dates thought i was gay, but we continued our journey.
as time progressed, and i felt they were of enough substance, i (accidentally on purpose) left HSV pamphlets laying around for them to see and hopefully read. eventually, i would ***CASUALLY*** say, "Oh By The Way, Have You Seen This?" from there, the ice was broken. we'd discuss all i knew about HSV and let them digest it all. all of them just shrugged their shoulders and said, "So What"?
all my dates did eventually fail for "OTHER REASONS". eventually i found "Ms Right". i will be married for 24 yrs next month! she eventually acquired HSV2 from reckless marital bliss. of course she was not happy, but the bond proved to be of such strength, that our lives are about overcoming issues "As A Team". to this day, we're still a team battling life's hurdles as we grow old together.
here are a few links for you to read:
...and here are some links from our past:
Thank you all for your kind and helpful words! I feel a lot better reading your experience
I Hope i have the courage to tell him sooner than later :/
follow the force Luke-ette! you are doing the right thing!
I told my boyfriend like the third day we’re we’re talking. I don’t wanna waste anyones time if that’s a deal breaker. He was so grateful for my honesty… that was 2 years ago. Today I am six months pregnant. I found my forever person when I thought life was over. A few people disappeared quickly but this one was different. If the stays he truly cares. Don’t be scared. If he runs he wasn’t worth it.
thanks for posting!!!
you are a classic example of what we try to convey here!
your future is bright! carry on!