Hi everyone, it's my first time here and i feel bad for it

Hi everyone, it's my first time here and i feel bad for it. I feel like everyone has a legitimate reason to be sad, but not me. There's no reason for me to feel as bad as I do. I can't say my life is terrible, though it's lacking and uneventful. I have everything I need and I'm in good health (minus the depression). And I think that's what makes me feel even worse.

2 Hearts

Your listed as a Vet, did you serve during this war. It could be PTSD. Depression is something that often comes with PTSD

1 Heart

everyone has their own battle each day and everyone has different ways to fight these battles try not to judge your problems in comparison to others or you will always find yourself feeling worse because you wont be able to find a reason for your problems to matter. they matter to you. hold on to that.

1 Heart

@thehiddenfriend Thank you, I will try to keep that in mind :slight_smile:

Hi Martini, Welcome to sg. A lot of people write what you've written - that they don't feel they deserve to be on sg, because other people are suffering so much worse, or other people have much more serious problems. But I believe that you still have a perfect right to be here. You may not be suffering as much as some other people, but you are still suffering a lot more than many many people. We don't judge on sg. Even a minor problem can be very painful and deserves to be listened to. So, welcome. We want to hear your story.

1 Heart

@L2015 thank you. I just wish I had more of a story. I come from a line of depressed people on both sides of the family; suicides on both side too, although not in my immediate family. I don’t feel suicidal though or in any danger of hurting myself or others. Heck, I don’t think I have the energy to lol

@Martini716 I'm not have that but I do know about depression and learning a lot about PTSD but it doesn't matter what state of depression Aryan the fact is it that you feel sad and you don't know why. Don't compare yourself to other people what's important is what you feel not what other people feel and you are important first and foremost. The fact that you realize that you're depressed is so encouraging. Why are you depressed did something happen do you have PTSD are you a veteran? It's good that you acknowledging your emotions and knowing where you're at and discussing them with others that in itself shows that you love yourself and that's good only you can take care of you. So now what the get all the people at every stop to you we do care about you. We want you to have a good life! First take each day at a time and sometimes hour by hour minute by minute. Second make an appointment is he accounter psychiatrist to find out what exactly is going on with you. Get the help that you need and continue to reach out to others just like on this site because this is an amazing sight. Taking it as a positive step you reached out and said I don't feel well I feel sad. There are things that we can control and things that we can't control that happen in our lives but the things that we can control you have already done good for you!

@glassheart64 thank you for your response :slight_smile: I’ve been toying with going to counseling, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t have PTSD (at least from a war perspective) but I do have survivors guilt. I absolutely hate it when people thank me for my service. I know my grief is making everything worse right now. It hasn’t stopped raining since Saturday and it’s just adding to it. Plus shorter days, the holidays…it’s just all adding up to one big crap storm, mentally.

that tends to happen with depression. We're not just sad for good reasons, we're sad for bad reasons and sometimes seemingly for no reason. IT's just a part of the disorder. Try your best not to blame yourself for it.

@Northguy Thank you for taking the time to support me :slight_smile:

I'm sorry for your loss and the pain you are still enduring. I loss my Mom as well. She was not as young as your Mom. But still young. 62. I'm so happy that you didn't take your life and subsequently the life of your precious baby. I'm a Mom of a 15 yr old and 10 yr old boys. If you need to chat or have questions that you would want to ask your Mom, I dont mind if you want to ask me. I know its rough. I pray that your grief will loosen its grip on you. MarieAntoinette76 on kik.

Welcome Martini, to SG and Veterans Group. Don't beat yourself up for your depression. All of us are here for some reason. And everyone has some degree of phys. or mental pain, depression and anxiety. Stay active in the group(s). Let us know what's wrong, we're here for you and don't be afraid to support others here too.....

@jim111 thank you very much! This is my first time trying a support group for therapy since medication doesn’t seem to be going strong anymore. It’s even hard for me to log on and get support, just mentally. Who thought sitting at a computer reading positive reenforcement would be so draining lol

Thanks guys. I am a vet, but I did not go to war. I got deployed to Japan and then came back and served the rest of my enlistment in the states. If anything I have a survivor-guilt going on for not being sent. Things did escalate this week when a friend of mine was killed this past Friday night. I think I'm still in shock.

@Martini716 what a coincidence. I’m a veteran as well. I was also in Japan for a short time. Camp Yakasakura!!!

Thank you very much :) I guess I'm hung up on asking for help...it's such a general term...I mean unless anyone has a magic wand, I don't know if there's much that can be done. If I try to look out side the box and view the situation differently, I ask my self what would I say to a friend of mine that is feeling the way I am? I imagine saying the things that you are saying; positive things that make perfect sense.

1 Heart

@Martini716 sorry about your friend. Please don’t hold back on talking to us in this group. WE ARE ALL HERE FOR SOME FORM OF SUPPORT.

Hi Martini, I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad, depressed, unworthy. Sounds so painful. The difficulty you're having logging in is par for the course for someone experiencing serious depression. I noticed that in your recent comment, you wrote, "I mean unless anyone has a magic wand, I don't know if there's much that can be done." May I respectfully give you the good news that science has progressed to the point that the doctors know how to help you. Not a magic wand, just doctor expertise. I should mention that when I was in the throes of my anxiety and depression, someone asked me what I thought the chances were that I would ever be better. I answered, "One in 50." Long story short, I am now much much better. I am usually content, often happy, very grateful and only occasionally miserable. What helped me was first and foremost therapy, also meds, support groups, etc. May I respectfully suggest that the feeling that nothing can help is actually part of the symptom of the depression. I googled "survivor guilt." It's not "no big deal." It's a very big deal, and very serious, and they now have treatments for it that work. I would like to re-iterate what other people have written here that getting counseling would be extremely healing. Please don't worry about what to say in counseling. That's why they have so many years training -- it's their job to figure out how to help you talk; it's not yours. I can tell from what you've written that you're a good decent person. I join the others here who suggest you call the VA and get the medical care that you are entitled to.