Hi everyone this is my first time posting on here. I just f

Relationships Romantic Relationships
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Hi everyone this is my first time posting on here. I just found out last week that my wife of 20 years had an affair about 10 years ago wife one of our old neighbour's. I know this may seem like old news but to me it is very fresh and extremely painful.

1 Heart
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She told me that it lasted for 4 months and it has never happened again. Honestly I'm still kinda in shock. I don't know what to do. I love her with everything and we have 3 kids, 2 of our kids came post affair. I want to forgive and start a new but these thoughts keep coming into my head and I'm just devastated all over again.

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I'm sorry to hear that. I just found out almost 2 months ago that my husband had been cheating with 20+ women during our entire relationship. You will be on a rollercoaster of emotions, probably for a good long while. I'm still on it, they change daily. Hang in there, and come on here often. There are lots of great people with tons of advice.

1 Heart
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Thank you lizzie I am sorry for your pain as well. I don't understand it really. I mean I am not perfect, I have had opportunities to cheat as well and I enjoyed the attention. But every time I even considered it l would see her face and my kids and I would run the other way. I truly believe the vows I took and never want to put another person through this pain, especially my wife.
She claims that she was in a dark place, drinking a lot, which she was. She was acting childish at the time. I was home raising our daughter and taking care of our home. She was back in school getting her degree, which I supported through. Then I was off work for 7 years raising 3 kids and putting her through for her masters.
Finally after all that I put together enough money to buy a business, only to have very little support, more like resentment for not being available as much and making her life harder because she now had to share in some of the home responsibilities.
Finally just over a year ago she quit drinking and started going to AA and I thought things were getting better. Then I get this bombshell and my life crumbled.