Hi everyone who is going to read this please no bashing me or my husband. My issue is my husband has insecurities and im trying to make friends in the area we live in. I try and talk to him and he said he would tag along. I said we can do it together and make another couple as friends and hang with them once in a blue for dinner or a. hang out. I finally had a talk with him about this I Sia this is a serious conversation. I said I have no one here my parents live in Florida and my sister and best friend live 3 hours away and my other sister is in Florida as well I said. I said im lonely here I have no one here but you and you work 4pm-midnight or a lil later. he gets two days off some times has to go in earlier. I said I don't have family here my parents come visit in the summer and stay all summer long they go visit my sister and me and my husband back and forth seeing us all summer.. I see my sister in summer and parents with my niece and nephews where they come with my parents to visit. I see my sister through out the year but not often. He knows im lonely cuz I told him but that didn't work which iam lonely and plus I have my sister in law who is an hour and 15 mins away. I can't drive do to my seizures I didn't really drive in my area anyways only to work. so when. I had a serious convo with him im like I want to make friends in our area and go out to events. I said we can do it together. he's like maybe and im like no not maybe Its yes and he was like ok we can do it together and im like do u mean that. he's like yes I mean that. I feel like im forcing him to say yes we can do it together. was like you have insecurities and he's like I know I do. and when I said it again to him infant of my mom she's like you should do it together as I mentioned in this message. so he's like I don't need anyone in my life but my husband. my mom was like what if you went to an event and a guy said hi to him and tried talking because its an event people are going to chat. he said I wouldn't be happy and. would make the guy move along and go chat with the other people at the event. I keep trying with this topic but nothing works. my therapist said its ok to have friends she said she has friends but not many cus she don't want many. so anyways back to what I was saying my therapist said this could be from his childhood I said he don't talk to his mother ever the she wasn't a good mother and he only sees her on Christmas Day. she said this can be from that. she said but not always from that. He used to have a therapist but no longer has one he got rid of his theripist. he don't even talk to his step dad either he wasn't good to him. I don't know what else to do no matter what I say it never works out that he will agree to do it together. It feels like im forcing him to give me an answer I want. And he's giving me an answer that he wants me to hear. There are times im like yes I want friends and do this with him and then there are times im like to my self na I don't care about making friends . maybe im saying I don't care about making friends to my self maybe because of my husband that it gets so tiring to keep trying with this but I don't know if that's true. don't get me wrong here he's a great guy he does so much for us. he always makes sure im ok when he's a work to make sure no seizure Happened. im so blessed to have him it took me a long time to finally find him before him I had horrible relationships they all sucked. we been married for three years. well anyways thanks to all who was reading this.
So is the problem he doesn't want you to make friends without him or he would just rather you do it on your own?
@CKBlossom he doesn’t want me to make friends alone if it was a female then that be a whole different story he wouldn’t mind that. he says he trust me but but I say to him you don’t cuz if u did trust me you wouldn’t mind me doing it alone. I keep telling him lets do it together since he told me once he would tag along so I said ok lets do it together then and still won’t budge.
why cant you be friends with non male friends, without him? If he cant even be ok with that then it's sort of a hostage scenario, not a marriage. It's seriously emotionally abusive vibes, if he feels uncomfortable with you meeting gal friends as much as you want and need. That mihjt be once a week, twice a week, or every single day. Jeez.