Hi Friends,
Today i am here to share my part of life, I have been married for two years now i married to a guy who was my very good friend of mine..everything was going good between us we never had any fights misunderstandings or arguments..We had hard time in first year of my wedding which includes my father in law passing away due to some incorrect treatment. My In laws family needed money i went beyond my rules took some credit and gave 1lakh to support them which they said will be returned to me once they sale one of their land..I always gave money from my savings because i always felt them as my family..Two months after his demise i found i m pregnant i didnt wanted to go for pregnancy so soon especially with no savings in my hand but then my in laws desparately wanted a baby because someone told them that my father in law will be reborn and my hubby elder brother do not have any kind so there is no one to continue the family..Based on their emotions i continued pregnancy which i struggled a lot for money no body from my in laws family gave me any money neither they ever asked do u need money... so it all went like this..i was unable to take care of myself so i decided to come to my mums place for delivery..after lot of problems my mother in law agreed to send me here..my hubby wanted me to go but refusing to convince his mom. he straight away told me thats its not love marriage so i can't take any decision...Somehow things went on i delivered a baby girl who is healthy..my dad paid the hospital bill for time being my hubby promised to return that money but its been six years but he never even spoke about it..then in january this year we got some misunderstanding in baby name in birth certificate i did discussed with my hubby over the phone before giving the name in certificate but later he refused putting all the blame on me and telling that i m adamant i do things first then tell that this has been done.. that was the first fight we caught up into unfortunately my mum was there too with me that day..she felt bad and insulted..That time my hubby told he wants divorce...elders in family convinced him and even i said sorry for misunderstanding even though it was not my mistake...Next month my hubby was diagnosed HIV POZ nobody else knows this apart from me then in April i went there for hair tonjouring ceremony for my baby again last day they caught me up into one fight and when i say fights its like almost 5-6 people sitting and proving me that i am wrong and i have to listen to whatever they said..My mother in law said so many bad things about my parents which i hate even my hubby was blaming my parents. even my MIL told my hubby that this girls will not suit us you leave her in two years she is reacting this much how much she will react in 4-5 years.. I had an answer for everything but i stayed silent and heard everything...Again i went and said sorry personally to everyone...Recently i went to write one exam on may 22 i went without informing any body there and i reached the home me and my hubby used to live before I came here it was locked , neighbour have the keys but due to last fight i felt like asking my hubby before getting the keys and to my expectation he refused me to take the keys he asked me to call his mum and get the permission..i felt bad but i called my mother in law at first she said fine check if neighbour has keys take it. i called back to my hubby to inform this but he said in very bad tone that this is not way call and ask her permission to get in to the house.. i was feeling pissed but still i called her again and now she started shouting on me blah blah why u didnt inform us and came ..at last she said u r doing everything on your own wish do whatever you want now keep the phone down.. i just disconnected the call..I was travelling for two days two nights to reach there and once i reached there this is the response i got from them...Fine i started calling my friends or parents since i need to stay for one night there.. i sat on the steps outside of that home and was calling people suddenly my hubby calls me up it may be after an hour or so asking where are you i told i m sitting on steps he gets angry and telling me why u are sitting there i told him i m trying to figure out what to do where to go...his reply shocked me ..he said get out of that place first go anywhere else and do whatever you want (because i know neighbours will see this and he will get bad mark on his respect)..i too got angry and said i m not inside ur home he says go away from that building i replied building is not yours so you have no right..this is the first time i replied to my hubby in two years...I know its long but i want help so you should know entire situation...I found a place to go and on the station i met my sister in law's husband he speaks nice to me...he compelled me to come home that is my in laws home..he said we will speak about it and clear the problem... i went with him.. I explained my part again lots of things they said...then i told them that ur son or brother is HIV Poz and i came to see what is he doing is he eating on time or not kind of stuffs so i came as surprise.. my hubby was not there in afternoon...everything got settled they decided that i should leave my baby in my mums place quit my german classes and come to stay with my hubby in a separate house where we were living before i came here for delivery and take care of my hubby and update them every month what doctor said...i agreed to it...evening my hubby came back from work and again one big fight and to my surprise my in laws too started blaming me for everything.. no body spoke anything about HIV since they decided to keep it secret my hubby dont know that his family knows about it....My sister in law said if i would have known that you would like to stay in different house i myself would have denied for wedding..my hubby says i acted before wedding and now i m showing my true colors he refused that i asked him before wedding that i can't stay in same house with entire family..i m ready to visit them but staying together is impossible for me...i really got very angry and i said this is not going to work out lets take divorce... my mother in law says ok deepti if you feel this will not suit you like the family and stuff you take divorce....then still fight continues at the end my sister in law asked me will you come back in July as discussed in after noon i doubt on you...i didnt replied because i my self didnt know anything...they gave an option you both
(me and my hubby) go to your house discuss things forget what happened before start a fresh life..we will not blame u for any thing about past neither you say anything..lets begin again..i felt ok with it..next day after writing my exam i spoke to my hubby for at least two hours he just listened he didnt say a word...He usually does it when i ask anything or say anything he will stay silent as if he understands and agrees with me, but in front of family he will ask me to give explaination of each word i say and he will ask hell lots of questions....I finally told him this is what we discussed in afternoon in family (i didnt tell him about his HIV status being known to his family because his mum said like this that it may hurt him)...i said forget what u thought about me before wedding or what i say and what u understood now you know me for two years you have seen me in your good and bad times based on that decide u want to stay with me or want a divorce.. my conditions are you and me will stay in different house not with entire family and we both will share the expenses for our house and our baby equally ..because in two years he never gave me money since i was working so i took care of all my expenses even after wedding...saying this i took my train and i came back.. i was very calm, not blaming anyone.i just asked him to give time and think about this discuss with your family let me know what your conditions are...
sending hugs and support to you. I am sorry they are treating you like this. what does your family think? Do you want to be with him after the way he has treated you?
Thanks Aura_Even i feel i should take divorce but in some point of heart i feel m i going to do the right thing or will he ever realize how much i love him or need him if i stay with him...M i jumping into a conclusion very soon..do i need to give him sometime...but my mind says he will never change.he will always support his family..My family too thinks that i should leave this guy..they don't know that he is HIV poz..my younger brother knows it and he is strongly telling me to leave my hubby no second thought...