Hi guys, new to this page. I feel empty and disgusted by myself. I have just started using tinder although I am in a relationship. Porn feels like a chore and after I just feel gross. I'm feeling low and honestly terrified of the idea I may have to stop watching porn or having one night stands. I am yet to see a counsellor. What's everybody's experience been like with seeing someone?
My name is David, I see a counsellor for child sex abuse and have seen another at University for about three years now. It has been good and challenging. Sometimes I love the porn, the images, but as I have read lately, it kills love and I truly need love in my life, and so, I want to give it up for love, we can do this, it is ok to feel weak, but you are valuable and worthwhile, believe in your real inner self, the person you have always been long before you ever knew what porn was.
It's so hard. I usually have my urges when I'm tiered, at night and after work. What do you do when you feel an urge coming on? How do you distract yourself? Sorry if my questions are too far on. I'm not sure what stage you are at.
I usually want to act out, but lately I have found some games on my tablet I can distract with. I get urges late at night and early morning. I realise when I am triggered I can seek alternatives, however, if the trigger activates an unmet need or unresolved issue, I realise also that I have to meet the need or resolve the issue to take the power away from the trigger. Also, I need to create new "routines" in my mind (first) and visualise myself in those routines, practising carrying them out to re-teach and re-wire my brain. Further, I learned that it is important to see vividly the damage the addiction creates and the benefits I'll receive from recovery. These, I learned from two articles on addiction about three ways the brain learns, which are the same ways we can re-teach our brain to serve us differently.
@Stoplink your posts are very encouraging for a porn addict like me. If possible can you please share the links to these articles?
New here, too. I can't do much in way of advice as I'm feeling pretty lost myself, but I can tell you I've had the same worries over relationships. In my experience, new relationships, with a thriving sex life, help satisfy urges. But as things settle, i found myself wanting more. I have ended relationships because I felt like otherwise I was going to cheat. I've been debating talking to a therapist about it, but I can't help but be ashamed for how out of control this is.
Sending you strength. You aren't alone, friend.
welcome to support groups, I hope you find answers that you are looking for in battling the addiction
I even forgot I was a member here, but I am back and hope to be of some benefit.
I am only here because i am trying to prevent myself from cutting tonight. I’m having a really hard time in general. Job is not going well