Hi, I am hoping someone can give me a little advice. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and got referred to a psychologist and started monthly sessions. I am now alomst 6 weeks clean of smoking weed but I am still crazy in my emotions. I was a heavy smoker of it. I would like to know how long this emotional side of my withdrawal is likely to take. Any ideas?
I smoke pot because it levels me out. My mind is always racing. I just feel more "normal" when I'm smoking.
2 Hearts
I always smoked it for that too. Self medicating. Now without it I feel totally all over the place. At the same time as switching off my racing thoughts it also created a cycle of addiciton and as I am a competing fighter, I needed to stop it also.
@NIXSPEED thank you so much for that reply. It helps knowing I am not the only one. Lots of people tell me it isn´t so bad to smoke it but for me it really triggers my BPD now although at one time it did seem to kill the symptoms.
Totally hear you about the relapse after 2 months, I am worried I will do that, tell myself it is ok, just once etc but like you say, the whole process just starts over again and I am scared for my mental health.
Yes, my mind lies big time to me but I am waking up now due to all the writing etc I am doing.
Yes, addiction is horrible and the withdrawal this time, I swear it is the worst weed withdrawal I had. I used to be on all sorts years ago and weed was my replacement for it. Now it just takes all my motivation and prevents me from doing the self work I need to do to control my BPD symptoms.
I have very vivid nightmares and dreams too but they are levelling out slightly now. Yes my BPD is at its worst right now but I tell mysefl daily that I am fighting with all I got and I will beat it. Weed defo masks stuff that´s for sure but it doesn´t actually help.
@nixspeed, I do all this breathing and writing now too and yesterday, stupid as it sounds, I bought this bach flower remedy. Obviously it doesnt deal with all my bpd but it does calm the anxiety side of it and give me a tiny little break from my tortorous thoughts. I believe every little helps. Psychology is very limited here in Spain but the sessions once a month along with everything else I am doing help. I just feel the mental craving to swtich off with a joint, everything is playing in vivid technicolour in my mind but hey, the strom has gotta end at some poiint right?