Hi. I am new here. I am really not sure where to begin but I feel now is the time to get this off of my chest. About 15 years ago when i was 5, my older step sister ( I will call her AJ for now) who was 9 at the time molested me. It went on for months before I had told anyone what was going on. When I told my mom, she immediately stopped letting me go over there and i never saw AJ or my little sister, GR, for 15 years. It has affected me a lot more than I realized throughout the years. I still remember it as if it happened yesterday. I remember growing up thinking about sex a lot earlier than i felt i should have and it made em feel gross on the inside and i was disgusted with myself for feeling this way. I developed depression when I was 9 but I never went to therapy to talk about this. Just recently GR reached out to me and I have been rebuilding my relationship with her. But next Friday, her mom is celebrating the 4th of July and wants me to come over so i can spend time there. That wouldn't be a problem if AJ wasn't staying at their mom's house and would be attending this party. I'm terrified to go because I don't know what my reaction would be. I know i want to go to this party but I'm afraid of hurting myself more and/or hurting GR because of my reaction to AJ. I know if I want to build this relationship with GR there is no helping seeing AJ. I am just not sure what I should do....
Hi, maybe not go right now or see GR alone when that's available since what happened when you were five still affects you and maybe seek support for yourself in dealing with this like you're doing here or maybe professional counseling to talk about it.
I know that it's normal to some degree for younger kids to experiment sexually with each other because they're curious and reaching puberty but 5 is pretty young for that to have happened to you. I just hope you're able to get what you need to work through this.
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@LovePeace I didn’t think I should see AJ right now…I fear that I won’t ever be ready