Hi, I am new here recently found out my husband is carrying on conversations (and promptly deleting them) with women who have previously offered to sleep with him. I don't know if he actually has cheated yet but I know it is coming.
can you talk to him? Would he be open to hearing you are feeling a wall & want to work on it - if he hasn't cheated yet maybe you can head it off & either it won't happen or you can leave before you are hurt beyond repair... Although, I feel like he has already cheated... If your partner is sending messages they have to delete because they don't want you to see them - isn't that already cheating?
Sounds like he might have some type of borderline personality disorder or something. That is up to him to deal with and figure out...your job is to love yourself and make sure your emotional, mental and physical health stop suffering before it is too late. I put up with way too much too and finally had to separate and my health and well being was the number one reason this time around. It is like a boxer...you can only take so many hits before real damage is done. Hopefully he will go to a counsellor or something...make an appointment and if he refuses you just go on your own...but sometimes separating is the best option to give yourself a break and he will either wake up and start getting help or just remain the same but that is on them not us.