Hi I am new here so I'm not sure if I this will help but its

Hi I am new here so I'm not sure if I this will help but its worth a try. I'm a 41 year old guy just out of a straight relationship. I spent 16 years hiding my thoughts and feelings from my ex till it all came out. Although she was hurt she has been amazing and supportive and is very incouraging for me to find out who I am. I hate myself for the hurt I've put her through and am so scared where this path may lead. The thought of being with a man excites me but the reality is scary and I don't even know what I'm looking for ie a full relationship or just sex. Any help would be much appreciated

6 Hearts

Hey Bro,
Your story resonates with me. I'm 37 and have struggled with my sexuality for a long time. I was married for 10+ years, and also have two kids. I never came out to her, and our marriage ended for unrelated reasons. I've come to terms that I am bisexual, but it's definitely been a confusing journey. I feel like bisexuality is very nuanced and not fully understood by many, at times not by ourselves either. People have a really hard desire to put people in specific boxes, and being bisexual is hard to do that. I also feel like being a bisexual man verses women are slightly different experiences, both with their own unique experiences and challenges. It's been very hard trying to find support groups with other men I could talk to. If you're down, I'd love to chat.

3 Hearts

@AlohaDude989 hey man - I too am 37 and have been married for 10 years with a beautiful wife and two kids. For the past few months, I’ve been exploring sexually with other discreet guys simply as a means to a sexual release and totally on the DL. As my luck would have it, my wife recently saw snaps on my phone of people I was talking to/snapping with, and my life has totally blown up in my face. I really would love to talk to someone that has gone through what I’m going through - and it sounds like we have a similar story. Would love to connect, if you’re interested in doing so - hit me up!

I am 35 and have been struggling with my identity a lot as well. I just started dealing with these different feelings that I would shove down. I am bisexual, I couldn't even speak those words in my environment I thought. I am still married to an amazing wife that is super supportive and for me atleast I'm not sure about a lot of things to come. I love my wife and kids and our family dynamics. Maybe for me just being able to express I find males attractive was enough. Still searching who I am and it is nice to be a little more free, but still scared sh÷tless some days.

1 Heart


We share much in common. I am out to my wife and marriage counselor. I am here to share experiences and for the community. We are all capable of helping each other. Feel free to reach out or PM.

Is there anyone here that I can chat with, whos been through something similar to me? Im a married man that identifies as straight with a wife and 2 kids, but I have recently begun exploring sexually with other men (totally unacceptable as I know this is cheating). I consider myself a 1 on the Kinsey Scale or ‘mostly straight’, if I had to put a label on my sexuality. I justified my behavior bc my interaction was with other men that were also either married or had gfs, but were looking for no-strings-attached, non-emotional, no drama, non-threatening sexual release. I dont consider myself bisexual as I have no interest in having a relationship with men, other than being sexually open/fluid as a means to ‘help out a bro’ sexually when needed. Am I completely crazy/delusional about my sexuality?

@ConfusedDude yes. stop intellectualizing the way your sexual orientation is. also, be honest with someone who agreed to spend the rest of their mortal life with you – that was a pretty big commitment.