Hi I am new

I have never belonged to a group like this before so I really don't know what to do, all i know is I am gonna stroke out and die if i don't find a way to deal with the stress from my family soon!! Maybe I can find some good ideas here and relate to anyone having problems with their family also.

I have a great family but there not like me, I have two adult kids that are married and one has a newborn, my oldest acts as if i have been a terrifable mother and the other just wants to keep peace. the oldest controls everyone around her and it is her world she has no respect for me which i don't really know what i have done to cause her to be that way. I have gotten to the point that i have pulled away from my kids because of her and i think she is happy about that i am hurting so much and i feel i have know one to be supportive of me

Sorry to hear that, thanks for sharing, I have noone to be supportive of me either. I am baffled at the behaviors of my girls and my husband. Mostly the girls, but it is causing alot of stress on my marriage. You try to do your best and put them first and it all just backfires! maybe we can support each other.

Sorry to hear your marriage didn't work out. It is even harder when there are younger kids involved. I think you have to do what is best for you and let the older girls realize that. It seems I have sacrificed my entire life for my kids and all it did was make them self involved. They want things handed to them w/o working for them.. Thats not real life! Do u think your soon to be ex will let you still be a part of his girls lives?

I've discovered that the biggest reason people have problems in any relationship is COMMUNICATION. Either people don't talk to each other at all, or they don't talk well. This has been a HUGE problem in my own family. Everyone is terrified of their own feelings, and although I've always felt very open to expressing mine, not only are they never received well, because they are seen as an attack, rather than a sharing, but because my feelings often get in the way of my communicating clearly (which may be why it comes out wrong). I tend to cry easily, and lots of flooding emotions tend to make you talk only about the emotions, and not the reasons. It's the reasons that are most important. We know how we feel. We can tell others how we feel, but we can't always tell them why. And if we can't tell them why, then they will always blow us off as being irrational and refuse to accept our feelings. They feel we're being cruel.

While it hasn't worked for me, because, as I said, everyone else is terrified of their own hearts, I've always been a big advocate of writing it all down. Make a list, write a letter, then read it or have a friend read it. Does it make sense? Is it accusatory? Then write it again. People need to understand you, and your feelings.

If someone is giving you a hard time, or seems to have opinions about you and your life you don't understand, you will never move past it unless you can BOTH empathize with the situation. Then you can forgive yourself, and each other.

I have tried to communicate how I feel, and why, but am told I shouldn’t feel that way, or that they can’t do anything about it. I am done trying to help people understand, I am just met with anger. Its all about just surviving the day with all its drama and stupidity. Why can’t people see the stupid choices they make affect more than just theirselves? Maybe they don’t care, its all about the moment. then come cryin to me for rescue or venting. I pray each morning to God to get me thru w/o me flipping out. Seems no matter how hard I try, nothing ever gets any easier and no situation ever improves, but they do get worse! I se families with neglect and abuse and their kids are far more successful??? I don’t understand, i totally gave up my life for my entire family and it all it crap, so i feel TOTALLY responsible. How did I mess up so badly, from the best of intensions?