Hi, I am really struggling with (H)OCD. I keep having dreams, which feel more like nightmares, about muscular guys and I find myself wanting to check gay porn and image of shirtless guys all the time. The killer is, I feel I'm getting more attracted to these images, even though I don't look forward to looking at them and do it as a way of checking. Is anyone else going through something similar? If so, please let me know!
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Yes. Totally say if I'm on Instagram and there's a half naked women I stare and stare to see if anything happens then I get a groinal response and it is awful!!!!! Sometimes I do sometimes it doesn't happen.
Do you find the 'attraction' going over time?
@hipstercat49 growing, sorry.
@hipstercat49 no not really. I've had periods of time where I've had intrusive thoughts but I've been able to brush them off. Or I've had groinal responses and thought well doesn't matter and it's been easier but it's always there
Hey @hipstercat49 , i can relate to what you describe. But it's important to have this in mind: Dreams are often about things we think a lot. We obsess with homosexuality, thus it's natural that our dreams are about the topic. I also used to check online with images of shirtless or even naked guys, and see if i was aroused. Most of the time it just gave me anxiety in huge amounts. But, as Jonathan Hershfield says in his articles in ocdspecialists.com, regarding the so called "groinal response", the truth is that the brain reacts sexually to sexual things. If you are watching, for example, a gay porn video, and all of your attention is in your penis, it is common that something tingles down there, since the video is of a sexual content and you are focusing to much on that part of the body. If you begin to think and concentrate on your left little finger, you will also start "feeling" it. My advice, and what i did, is to quit all the checking of gay porn and imagery. it only gives you anxiety and teaches the brain the wrong responses. The brain must learn that the thoughts of being gay are NOT a threat that has to be fought. By checking, we do the opposite.
Thanks Nico, this is truly helpful, I really appreciate it.
@hipstercat49 i also really struggle to avoid checking at work. it seems the pressure of being surrounded by other people and the demands of my job push me into checking. has anyone got any advice on how to beat this urge? i’m very new to these message boards so any advice will be welcome! Thanks, Gareth
Best advice is to go to an OCD therapist. We all got the fear that they will tell us that we are just gays in denial, but that is never the case if it's a good therapist. Also, check the videos of Eddy Defoe and Mark Freeman in youtube.