Hi, I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not. I am

Hi, I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not. I am 19 months out of a 17-year relationship. I have been very carefully testing the waters of a possible male friendship for a few months now. I have not gone on any dates yet - Had one gentleman ask me, and I got so nervous about it that I freaked out and had a panic attack, and backed out of the date. There is a man who lives 9 hours from me, whom I have come to like VERY much - we speak every day, either online or on the phone. AND I have a boy-toy who comes around once in awhile for 'that' only, which I don't mind. I also would not mind letting him go, as I have no other feelings for or about him. So, the rundown is this: 'J' wants a date, still - he calls me and we talk, and I'm not sure how much I like him. 'S' is long-distance, but I like him alot. And 'E' is the boy-toy. How do I handle these guys? I'm not 'playing' them. I just don't know where my attention should be. BTW, I am not the kind of lady who sleeps around. I want a guy who will be there for and with me, whom I have the same feelings for. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks - Blu PS: how do I quit panicking over a date?

Going ona date. Is court ship communication. And seeing if you have a ground to go a head on the next step. Maybe saying you want to go slow would help..but remember players do not want to go slow

S and J are both willing to wait me out - I think S will be my choice. If and when S becomes more a part of my life, I'll just give E the boot, lol, Thanks for the reply!