Hi. I find this a bit hard to post. I mostly read what other

Hi. I find this a bit hard to post. I mostly read what others say. I am going to travel soon to my home country for vacations. There are family meetings, outings with friends and beach time. I am so scared of everyone seeing me. I have been overweight for years now but I am currently at my heaviest. I had started keto a few weeks back, but I stopped and now it has been hard to go back. However, to know that I am soon going to see everyone is stressing me out and that makes me want to eat. I know this is mental, but why is it so hard? Also, how do you cope with having to see people? I am so ashamed, and I don't want to be.

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Are you unhealthy, or just not the size you wish to be.  I am currently at the point where I eat well, exercise and am just not the weight I wish to be at and am coming to terms with that.  If you would feel better about loosing some weight before you see your family and friends and can loose weight in a healthy way, then go for it.  Be proud of who you are, wear clothes that make you feel amazing, don't allow anyone to make you feel less than.  

@CKBlossom Thanks for your response. I am healthy, I just feel and look fat. I know that a diet can solve this. I just have a hard time starting because I know the emotional toll and mental toll it can take. You know? Cutting out so many things, but I know there is no way around it. I will make the effort starting Monday. Thank you for the encouraging words, I needed it. I did buy some new clothes, clothes that fit me so that makes me feel good. I don’t think anyone is going to put me down per se, but it’s more in my head. Imagining what they could possibly be thinking about me. I know it’s not healthy and it is intrusive. It’s just a bit hard to overlook.