hi, i had a really bad experience. is anyone available to talk?
1 Heart
i have been vegetarian since i was 12, starting the transition when i was 8. it was my own personally choice. i saw that my half sister was vegetarian and i immediately knew i had to be vegetarian because of the animals that i love so much. i am 21 and yesterday i had a bad experience. i was invited to a funeral for my boyfriends family member and we were to go out to eat afterwords. my boyfriend nor any of his family are vegetarian or vegan and after the funeral, we all sat down at a local restaurant and everyone talked a lot. everything was fine until the people around me started talking about eating. i was happily talking to everyone, but i guess i had forgotten what being around other meat eaters is like since i am always just around my boyfriend, who is extremely gentle and never talks about it. so we were talking and my friends brother and the people across from me start saying how vegetables feel pain, they conducted studies that prove it(they just started saying this out of the blue, i try to avoid these conversations because i am extremely sensitive about it) then i start saying how fruit is the perfect food because it was given to us to eat. someone immediately remarks "ohh that is a great argument for fruit, 'it was given to us to eat'", as they were pretty much refering to how people say that eating meat is acceptable because it was given to us to eat. i immediately start explaining that fruit is a perfect food, and that there are no negatives to eating it as the fruit is given to us so that we can help the tree to reproduce and ultimately support the forest. everyone is ignoring me now, not even trying to talk about it anymore, changing the subject, they move on. in the meantime, i am extrmely upset because i seem to be the only one who understands what taking a life really means. i go straight to the bathroom and start to cry. i stay in there for a while jntil i am finally able to come out. i sit back down and give everyone a dirty look, then i dont talk. eventually, someone asks what is wrong and i cover it all up, saying that i am not feeling well and the food got to me. everyone, even my boyfriend, believes me. i pretend that everything is fine as i am extremely hurt inside. i covered it up well, drinking a lot of water so i had to go to the bathroom often and i would stay in there for long periods of time, just to be alone. everyone is happy and i avoided a conflict that i didnt want to get into. that night, i went to bed as soon as i got back, hoping i would feel better in the morning, but instead, i had a horrible dream. idreamt of two children, a little girl and boy, both around 6-8 years old. the boy is blind and has mental imparement, while the girl is healthy. i dreamt that they got into a box that was sitting on a moving machine, as the box was being pulled into it. the kids didnt really know what they were doing, they just wanted to go in there for some reason and they went together. the boy was pounded by the mavhine, a giant metal hand smushing him, while just barely missing the girl. the girl was freaking out at this point, realizing the situation that she was in. in the middle of the machine, the boys blood and then grinded corpse were regurgitated into a pit and the girl fell in. the pit was sort of like a sink grinder, with rubber in front of the blades. the girl was positioned where she couldnt get up from the grinder and then it turned on(at this point, i closed my eyes in the dream and looked away screaming). the feeling of this dream was grotesque and extremely disturbing. i woke up right then with a horrible feeling in my stomache as i am forced to experience this.
i feel horrible. no one around me understands what life means. i hate being in a world where things eat eachother and our bodies are so vulnerable and weak. i hate being in this world where we are forced to endure all of this horrible mutilation. i hate the fact that we are so frail, i just hate it. i hate this world.
1 Heart
I have been vegetarian for 20 years and am very close to being vegan, just milk chocolate left to give up. I feel best when I am eating just fruit and "light" vegies, going out to eat socially can be a bit of a problem, I don't like onion or garlic, and it's difficult to find a meal without these except at a Hare Krishna resturant.
1 Heart
I understand, Raindroptree, When people start talking about my diet
and I don't want to hear it, I just say with a smile, " I enjoy being vegan, It works for me. I feel healthy and happy." Then change the subject. You don't need to explain your choice, it is your choice. Just smile and talk of something else. If questions persist, just say it has been proven to be the healthiest diet for our bodies, for the animals and for the planet.
Marge
2 Hearts
Oh poor you Raindroptree (pretty name by the way). That's a terrible nightmare. It sounds like you are feeling really fragile and sad about the violence in the world. I understand that. There is a German word for it - weltschmerz. We don't have it in English but it translates roughly as 'world-weariness'. I remember feeling it a lot when I was younger, especially in my early 20s. I used to be extremely sensitive around carnivores, especially when they singled me out for my choice of diet, or decided to discuss how much they loved meat in front of me! They don't realise how incredibly rude it is and how it can make a person feel. It's a really tough learning curve, how to handle that. It feels totally unfair because from our perspective, they are the ones who have made the messed up diet choice. I think the most empowering thing is to refuse to answer their silly questions. Answer with a brush off (as Nelliefox suggested) or a joke - my vegan friend says "because I like vegetables" and refuses to go deeper than that, unless its a real conversation with someone who actually shows genuine interest. If you feel a bit plucky you can turn it around on them; "why do you eat meat?" Whatever you do, we can't take their mistakes upon our shoulders - it's too much to bear. Also we must be careful not to judge too harshly, it doesn't help anyone, least of all ourselves. It sounds like you have surrounded yourself with a loving boyfriend and friends who are compassionate to you, keep enjoying them and be careful not to burden your boyfriend with your feelings about his family, that will only push him away. Something I like to visualise when I'm feeling thin-skinned is that my heart is a candle, burning fiercely. It's inside a glass lantern, so the flame can't be blown out, no matter how hard someone tries it won't even flicker. Next time you're in a difficult situation, try to focus on that and feel its warmth and light fill your body. Then you won't have to pretend anything and you can powerfully take control of yourself and your situation. Sending you love and understanding <3