Hi I have never used a site like this before, but this seems like a good place to find some answers and help. First off my wife and I have been married for fifteen years now, we have 2 beautiful girls 6 and 4. My wife's problems with Vicodin started about 7 years ago and has steadily gotten worse. It began with her parents feeding her pills basically just to relax around the holidays. After our first child she began taking them more often to stay awake, she had surgery on both her hands a few months after our first baby, she saw a pain management physician at that point who started her on a medical regiment of Vicodin. Shortly after we had our second child and her pill use increased dramatically following that. Soon after, about 5 months she lost her job as an occupational therapist due to excessive absence. Also around his time her parents began to use very heavily as well even buying off the streets. My wife did get another job but after about 8 months she just stopped going and consequently lost her job and license to practice in her profession by putting patients and their health information at risk. By this time she was using pretty heavily fueled by physicians as well as her parents. In the best interest of our family I moved us out of state, we lost a beautiful 6 bedroom home with a pool and a yard for our kids to play in, we had a hard time selling the house in a bad market so I used my life savings to keep us afloat. After we moved I found a good job, my wife is still unable to work, but things were getting better. Things were good for about a year, but about 6 months ago she started to show signs of use again, I thought maybe it was just depression from being away from her family, but I have recently found out she is getting pills from a pain doctor, as well as calling my personal physician asking for pain medication for me and then filling the script herself. And then the other night a young man came to the house looking for my wife, he seemed pretty messed up himself, which leads me to believe she is probably buying or trading for pills on the streets. She has gotten pretty bad at this point she can barely hold her head up, she passes out on the deck while smoking and has burned holes in most of her clothes as well as all the cushions. She has been in 3 car accidents in the last 6 months, her teeth are rotting out and we basically don't speak much anymore. I really have no one to talk to, I work very long hours and therefore don't have much of a social network, my parents are not fond of my wife to begin with so I try and leave them out of it. I'm really not sure where to go from here I love the woman I married but this is not her and I don't know how to get her back. Any ideas or support would be great I'm in a real bind and I don't want my children to suffer.
I come from a family of addicts. We have put 2 of them in over 25 different rehabs only to relapse. You may not realize that you are enabling her by staying and keeping your children around her. She will never hit rock bottom as long as you stay. You have to think about your kids because her best friend is the pills. Even over you and her kids. They look only for their next fix. My family members lost their kids and jobs and house as well. They have no jobs and still only think of the high. It is a terrible thing to watch, but unless someone acknowledges they have a problem it will only get worse. A person cannot fix what they refuse to acknowledge. I would suggest you get your children away from her. Let her see what she would be missing out on and if that doesn't do any good, you have done the right thing for your children.
So I confronted my wife about the pills she has been getting under my name at the doctors, I also questioned her about the people who have been showing up at our house at 10pm looking for her. Here’s the thing thought since she is a stay at home mother by default it rented her an my kids a place to stay on the Florida coast so they could have a nice summer vacation, since I confronted her she has stopped talking to me and had her father call and say she wants nothing to do with me. She said she will not be coming back and I will never see my kids again. As far as I can tell she has every right as a parent to take my kids and never return. I work 24-7 just to pay the bills and to pay off her debt so I can’t afford a lawyer or pay for her and child support. I figure I better just drop the subject or go to my grave early, I really can live without my girls. They say drug addiction leads to premature death but I guess they never say who’s. This is BS, I give up.