Hi, I’m new here. I really don’t know where to turn or w

Hi, I’m new here. I really don’t know where to turn or what to do. My husband and I have been married 6 years. Prior to marriage sex was best I’ve ever had and plentiful. We have maybe had sex twice since we got married. It’s been at least 4 years since the last time. He started avoiding and making excuses before finally telling me he has ED. Since he has stonewalled me. He refuses to discuss it. I was thinking he just wasn’t into me anymore. Then I remembered a conversation we had years ago where he told me about his previous relationship. He told me he wasn’t attracted to her so he convinced her he was impotent. I of course reminded him of this conversation and his response was “yeah, this is what I get for lying about it before. It’s probably karma”. I have also seen porn on his phone and he follows 20+ women on twitter that post nude photos. To be fair he has been seeing a urologist and his testosterone level is in the 70’s. He refuses to talk about it or attempt to touch or please me in any way. I can’t help but feel humiliated and rejected myself. My husband finds watching other women be satisfied enjoyable obviously but refuses to touch me sexually or even speak about it. It hurts me that he doesn’t even consider my feelings, wants or needs. Or maybe he’s just disgusted by me. I’m so lost! He seems to love me. He’s always hugging and peck kissing me. Constantly tells me he loves me. Always wants us to do things together. Why would he bother doing all of these other things and lie about ED? Is he lying? Before we stopped sex all together he could get off no problem with me performing oral or manual but go soft vaginal. I’ve become resentful not just because he has sentenced me to being a dried up, useless, pathetic shadow of the woman I used to be but because he has stonewalled me by refusing to even speak about it. Of course he says it’s to humiliating for him and I understand but It affects me too. What about me? Someone please explain to me what a man with ED get out of looking at porn or looking and liking naked pics of strangers on social media???

Ok, that is a lot to unpack and hun, I would really sit him down and really talk with him, also, I would suggest watching videos by sex therapists. But here is my take, men can get aroused and have satisfaction even if they cannot get hard, so with the porn and pictures, this may be his way of getting off without judgment. But here is where I think things have failed, he won't talk to you, he does what he needs to do for sexual fulfillment and doesn't include you in the arrangement. Even if he doesn't want to take medication or do anything about his ED, he could still take care of you sexually or you could take care of yourself sexually. These are options, but right now, being in a marriage where you have more questions than answers is a real red flag.

@CKBlossom thank you for acknowledging me. I’ve never been able to talk to anyone about this. 4 years of holding it in, severe depression, feeling rejected, feeling inadequate in my own skin, unwanted and alone has really taken a toll on me. Typing that post actually gave me some relief. Thank you…

A guy with ED can still get off usually getting a bj or hj because they don't require it to be rigid to get off because of the suction or tugging manner. He probably can still masterbate hence the porn. Penetrative sex requires a very rigid erection and is problematic for fellows with ED. I think your feelings are normal and are echoed by probably a million other women who have partners with ED? Perhaps Trimix injections or an implant like a Coloplast Titan or AMS 700 would help solve the intimacy and sex issues you guys have???

hello there to be honest this is the first time I’ve ever done any Kind of support group anything . I've never been able to express my feelings . Nother story.. Soo when the ED and PE started it was like my manhood was cut off! My man life was over? That being said.. my desire for my wife still alive . I would luv on her kiss her take it right up too sex. Then do to strait FEAR of failing her bottom level confidence. FEAR of shame and judgement from her I'd back out or stop . Hence the pron the no confidence needed fail free shame and judgementless pron? I've done and are doing the same thing to my wife now. I'll help you if you'll help me? I've been working on a few related things with CK also

@pat10ton sounds like you would be a good candidate for Trimix? Trimix takes away the psychological aspects of maintaining an erection because the erection doesn’t go away until the medicine wears off. My urologist told me that it would even work sitting next to my mother in church and he wasn’t lying. See my other reply to you saying that you had never heard of Trimix.

First you have to get a prescription from a doctor(urologist would be best) and then find a compounding pharmacy close to you that will make it for you. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read up on it and do some homework on it so you are well educated on it. Too many guys end up in the ER with a raging erection... NOT JOKING! Very important to get it into the cavernosa or it will not work so be very careful increasing the dosage. Some doctors and pharmacies will give you some sort of antidote shot to take home with you. My doctor said I could take up to 120mg of old school Sudafed to help it go away if needed. Don't wait till 3 hours and 50 minutes to start trying to make it go away. Until you're comfortable with it start trying to make it go away after 2 hours if it still solid. Read all the posts you can on the internet... I highly recommend FrankTalk.org injection section and check out all the YouTube videos you can find on Trimix. Getting the dosage right and where it needs to be is the hardest part no pun intended. My initial prescription only took 3 or 4 units for a couple hour erection which is literally a few drops and 4 units is 33% more then 3 units and is difficult to read that on 100 unit syringes. Try to get 35 or 50 unit syringes with all the increments printed on the syringe.

2 Hearts

I think I have a less than 1% fail rate(missing the cavernosa) since 2018(400+ injections) simply by using BD brand 5/16 inch long 31 gauge syringes(very important IMHO). The 5/16 inch depth is the perfect depth for me to stick it in at 3 or 9 O'clock on the shaft and bury it in all the way in. Sticking the needle into the skin is very easy but the cavernosa tubes are a little bit tougher to penetrate and it's something you get a feel for. I feel like the "BD" brand is one of the best or is the best brand and quality is better than others and the needle is sharper and penetrates easier. When it comes to this process I don't think I should skip out and buy cheap syringes. If you miss the cavernosa you should know in 10 to 15 minutes. Injecting helps if you're able to plump up a little bit but it's not necessary and I'm not usually plumped and usually can't plump up. I always have results in about 5 to 10 minutes and ready to hit it.