Hi I was dating a narc for 11 years on and off . He has se

Hi I was dating a narc for 11 years on and off .
He has seriously destroyed me. I can't believe I kept going back after all the abuse including sexual abuse being drugged cheated on lied to time and time again!
I had no idea he was a narc until my psychologist actually met him in not the best situation this was a week ago today . During the week I went and saw "Martin" who told me what he thought of my now ex after a lot of reading and starting to understand the holds narc have on u I woke up earlier one morning and left .
I've been suffering from nightmares since , I will randomly start crying I think it's cause I actually remember the things he has done to me and can't understand how I got suck in. Sorry if I'm not making a lot of sense I'm sleep deprived and just a complete mess. Im scared he will suck me in again as his already trying . Please help me never go back and to learn to love myself again :'(

1 Heart

Do lots of research Hun that will help you realise things will never ever change and you have to get away. Believe in yourself, you've had courage to walk away. That is a huge huge step Hun. Small step by small step you can absolutely do this. Come here and post away people here are great. The longer you cut contact the clearer things will become and you'll slowly get yourself back. Big hugs you can do it xxx

1 Heart

@19yearsnowfree thank u I’m just so confused on how I didn’t see it for what it was for all those years. He has sucked the life out of me :frowning:

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this. Unfortunately we have all been there done that. Yours sounds like a real doozy. The crying will cease in time. The most important thing is to definitely educate yourself and absolutely have nothing to do with this sicko. You have to learn to block him out and just concentrate on getting yourself healthy again. He is a worthless piece of crap just like all the other narcs out there that we have become victim too. Don't listen to any of his lies. Understand that this is the devil in disguise just keep telling yourself that. He will say and do and manipulate just like he's done all those past years. Don't let him get over on you If you want to destroy him the way he destroyed you the best thing to do is never to respond and cut him off from any source of communication. Block him from all emailing and sell phones land lines etc. This support group site has been as Savior in my life and once you start talking about it and getting all your feelings out and what you are experiencing you will see your story is just the same as ours. Only the names have changed. We are here to help you. Hugs

1 Heart

@1tomanytears thank u

I'm defiantly trying my best to I know the next move for him will be to turn up to my
Parents house or to start following me around. I'm also about to go into surgery to have my back fused I'm so scared it won't work as I'm so mentally broken :( I'm only 30 years old n found out my so called soul mate saw me nothing more then object :,( I'm sorry for being so emotional just not handling life anymore I'm so unhappy

Don't say sorry you are human xx focus on one thing at a time, small steps. Get support to help you stay NC and focus on getting well soon xxx you can only deal with one thing at a time Hun so break it into small steps xx

2 Hearts

Does anyone ever feel sorry for the narc and look at it as a sad condition they have n how truly horrible it would be for
Them not to know how
To love etc or am
I just so twisted from years of abuse

@Eleni85 No I don’t let myself feel sorry for him as I know he’d happily destroy me