Hi I'm new here and have recently become aware of borderline traits in myself pointed out by psychiatrist and people close to me. Since I've looked at that 'label' for myself I've had a complete meltdown. It sounds like a death sentence and scares me when I read things like "cannot tell fantasy from reality, psychosis" or "incapable of love" and looking at all my relationships, they fit the pattern of someone suffering with this. Yet others think it's just 'codependency' or 'commitment issues' or 'sex and love addiction' als;eiru;oaie ughhhhh . Scared. They say we have little stability or sense of self. Can we gain this?! How?!
When I started to admit it too myself, I had a crazy meltdown too. It's sad but I bought into the stigma and I thought that if I am BPD well, I might as well be locked up in my house so no one can be around me...there were other irrational thoughts I won't get into, but I am starting to accept it and OMG this site has helped so much! What sucks the most is that there is hardly any support for this. No groups where I'm from, and I've had to research my own treatment. My therapist, no psychiatrist has confirmed what I have, my therapist actually said "wouldnt it be better for you to be bipolar? There's a lot of treatment for it." Umm...yes! but I can't pick what I have! Anyways, read the posts on here, my first time on this site made me cry because for once in my life I wasn't alone. I just was diagnosed a week ago and I am new too and scared, but I am depending on blind faith that I can get better. I am sick of being hopeless all the time.
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I have BPD quiet badly and the PEOLE who u have like codependency issues is wrong us suffering with this is the most hurtful n lonly time we struggle to keep loved ones becuz we are so difficult at Times I'm so desperate for someone to understand how I feel without judging I'm here if u want to talk
"my therapist actually said "wouldn't it be better for you to be bipolar?"
Woops, I meant psychiatrist.
Yeah bi polar actually looks kinda similar, like I can have a million different moods a day sometimes and they can be intense. Sometimes I can think I'm in love with someone at 1pm and feel high and 3 hours later not know what I was thinking, WTF?! That's the fantasy part. But people who go to Sex and Love addicts anonymous ( I have been doing the phone meetings) also describe this behavior. Hard to know what is what or if just different labels on it.
yeah bpd , bi-polar is apart of bpd in many ways its like a add on problem the actual problem is the personailty issues we struggle with i am the total same in a space of 5 minuites i can go from in total love to complete anger to dipir and to a emotinel breakdown all in space of 5 mins and this continues everyday allday its so hurtful because you go with your feelings and that leads us to even more pain
Welcome to the group. Looks like you already see the value of sharing ideas with others. You are not alone. This can get better and be somewhat controlled, and you can live somewhat normal healthy lives. Feel free to browse our posts, and ask questions or add your own comments. We are all here for you.
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Thank you everyone for the welcomes and responses.
"Having been raised by narcissistic people who couldn't respond to her needs for consistent mirroring and affection, the Borderline feels at home when she locates a partner who initially showers her with adoration--but then retreats, or finds fault with her. Girlhood longing for love was associated with pain, so she's programmed to keep striving for that which cannot be satisfied. Each disruption of loving attention reactivates her core despair, so she settles for scraps of love, that echo her early conditioning. A lover who's more available or responsive, doesn't fit this paradigm--or inspire her passionate response."
That from an article I read and what the article was missing was how to change the pattern, wasn't very hopeful.
Here we try to answer that question together as problems arise. Any sharing of the things that helped us get through is another piece to the puzzle.
What do the numbers next to our names mean?
@piscesrising The points are support points. The more you support others, the more your points go up. But it’s not really about the points, It not like you are going for the high score or anything.
@piscesrising I have been diagnosed for 2 years, and things are getting better. There is different types of therapies you can access on line. Some have great luck with DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and some CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). Just inform yourself as MUCH as you can, and try not to be afraid. Those definitions don't have to "define" us. I found myself taking on symptoms I hadn't had previously when I was diagnosed, the power of suggestion was overwhelming. Remember that no label or diagnosis changes who you are. I read a book that gave me a LOT of hope when I was first diagnosed, it's called "Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder" by Rachel Reiland. Some of what she goes through is awful, and worse than some of my episodes or experiences, but some of it felt so true to me, and it shows that we CAN get better and have more than just a somewhat normal life, but a great life. Welcome, I hope this site helps you!
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