Hi. I'm new here. I found this forum while googling articles about feeling ugly. I am 34. I am told I look young for my age. I get hit on by men. My friends all say I'm pretty. Or cute. Or I have an exotic unique look. And in pictures on certain angles I feel beautiful. But most of the time I think my face shape is warped or too manly. I think my smile is crooked and doesn't match my face. And I feel peculiar looking from the side and when someone takes a picture of me I didn't know about. I think people are lying to me because I'm such a nice person with a huge heart but I really wish that if I was ugly that people would just tell me so I could face the truth and find other ways to be confident rather than just with how I think people see me. I have always had low self esteem but it's gotten so bad these past years...I'm not sure what to think about myself nymore. I ruined my eyebrows in my teens by shaving them all the time so they have never grown back to look like normal eyebrows. My skin on my face is horrible around my nose and chin. I'm tired of feeling ugly. I don't even know what to believe anymore. How can I look so pretty in some pictures and feel so ugly on video or in other pictures?? How does this happen??
I've been so distraught over this...I haven't had a relationship in 3 years in fear of not being beautiful enough for any man.
So stupid..but that's how my brain works.
Anyway...just thought I'd share.
thank you.
Try to go deeper sweetie and uncover what is at the root of your low self image. There is probably something from your past, perhaps childhood, where these non-resourceful beliefs began to take root. Now that you are older, it is time to take your power back and begin to work on the mental body.
It takes a lot of awareness and discipline, but take some time and write down all the things you love or like about yourself. Go as general or specific as possible and really let those good feelings saturate yourself. Catch yourself when you start to worry about what other people think and tell yourself that it is only projection and it is false. First, there is really no way to really know what others are thinking and second, it does NOT affect you unless you allow it.
So fill yourself up with positive, life-affirming thoughts. Beliefs are merely thoughts thought over hundreds, maybe thousands of times. So begin to introduce new, self-loving, self-nurturing thoughts.
Confidence, real confidence, comes from the inside and shines outward. Don't worry about not having a partner. When the time is right and you are in a healthy relationship with yourself, you will find your partner. Enjoy the time now just loving yourself and basking in your own self beauty and inner brilliance.
1 Heart
Hey ssjaye, I'm 27 and have been in torment about my appearance (face) for close to 20 of those years. I actually joined this site too because I was getting tired of having no one to talk to about things. Doctors have "diagnosed" me with BDD, however I find that sometimes problematic. Anyways, I absolutely understand how you feel when you talk about the discrepancy between pictures, videos, the mirror what people say etc. Sometimes I look in the mirror and again an hour later and see a completely different face...I joined this site in hopes of chatting with others who are going through similar trials, feel free to message me, I hope you find some hope.
1 Heart
Lol thanks I'm the one with the hat. That's my best friend. She's one of my rocks in life.
Nisima....thank you. I know I need to focus in so much more mental stuff now...it's just hard to face. I just want to feel beautiful...I always had insecurities but this is insane. I have never felt so alienated in my own body before. I'm going for counselling soon. Hopefully that will help. I stay strong because I have two daughter and I don't want then to see or know how little confidence I have so I put on a mask and act fine. It's been doing me good for a while up until recently so...it's an obstacle I need to overcome.
@EssJaye - your also blessed miss. I spent a large portion of my life raising step children. I have none of my own. I’m the guy holding the fairy ring of mushrooms. I found two of them this last winter. I do feel blessed for the time I did get. Teaching my step kids how to read, write, walk, and talk will alway bring out a tear and a smile in me when I recollect the past. Thank you for picking me and if you support me we can private message I think. I’m still trying to figure this web site out.