Hi i'm new here so don't know if this is where I'm suppose t

Hi i'm new here so don't know if this is where I'm suppose to post my story. Well long story short Ive been with my bf for 1 year and after 4 months of living in his home I found out he was talking to multiple women on social media sites. I confronted all these women over the phone and many never even met him and my bfs excuse was he was single for 9 years before me and it was hard to let go of all the attention he got from women so he would just txt back and forth flirting but never physically cheated on me. I decided to stick it out for 2 more months but things between us got worse, I did not trust him and he starting acting different and the affection was gone. I found out he was txting girls(porn stars, strippers and randoms) again and after seeing a therapist I finally got the courage to move out while he was out of town. After I confronted him he said it was best I moved out so I did. I left and decided not to have any contact with him whatsoever and I was beyond SHOCKED that within 3 weeks he was messaging me everyday, posting pics of me on social media etc. After 1 month he finally swallowed his pride and starting begging for me back through messages and calls but still I ignored him for 2 months. The anger and hatred I had towards him didn't allow me to respond, I was beyond devastated and heartbroken and cried everyday and didn’t want himto know I was hurting. So as of 3 days ago I finally decided to msg him back and I said a lot of mean things ive been holding in for 2 months. He asked if I wuld just hear him out in person and I agreed because I felt I had a lot of unanswered questions and needed closure. He decided to open up to me and tell me that he cheated on me with a random girl he met at his hotel 2 months before I moved in with him (Hes a public figure and women throw themselves at him all the time and hes only home 3-4 days a week). He also said that me leaving him had to happen to put his life in perspective and made him realize the life he was living was lonely and depressing and he truly loves me and wants to spend his life with me. and move me back in. I am very devastated bc he also admitted to sleeping with 2 women within the 2 months we were broken up bc he was trying to get over me but by him doing that made him miss me even more. I’m so confused and don’t know what to think anymore, my heart tells me to give him another chance but im scared he will hurt me again. He is trying everything to prove to me he loves me and is serious about us and is even setting up a couples therapy session for us when he returns home in 2 weeks. I love this man and thought he was the one for me but I don’t know if a man who has been single for 9 years who just slept with multiple women for 9 years can change his ways. Im hurting, angry again and need advice bc ive never dealt with a cheating significant other. So far I moved into my new place and decided it is best i don't move in until he shows me he wants me in his life. We have been talking everyday now for 3 days and i find myself making him feel guilty over and over, i cant control my anger towards him. This man has a huge problem accepting love and thinks women just want to use him etc and he said he finally realized that i truly loved him and admitted the break up was all his fault bc he was selfish and now is ready to love me and be loved. He even went as far as telling me he wants to marry me and start a family with me but I told him that won't fix his issues.

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@Priscillam29 Welcome to SG! You will meet many wonderful people here, fondly called SG friends. The bottom of the page is a FAQ, it will assist you in navigating. the site. The right- hand corner of this page are numerous groups, familarized yourself with them. You may join as many as necessary. There is an Infidelity group. Your boyfriend has been single for 9 years before you met him.... During that time he played the field, with endless women. Then he met you, which you thought was a serious relationship, You'll moved in together, and he continued his cheating ways. You'll broken up, and he had several affairs, which he admitted to you. Now after totally ignoring him for several months, even though he was texting you. After finally meeting him for closure, he has told you he's broken after losing you, and wants to get back together. He is trying everything to prove his love for you. Yes,he event wants to set up a Couples Therapy Session for both of you......Remembered when you discovered he was cheating, and you'll were living together, his affection for you stopped, and he told you, it was better if you left? In addition I will be very honest with you, this man is a serial cheater. I i don't think he's going to changed. You mentioned he was a public figure, and women threw themselves at him. It's nothing going to be different, if you get back together again? Be strong the best is yet, to follow..... SG friends are here, to support, and be supported.

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@Irma thank u for ur advice bc that’s exactly what I’m afraid of that nothing will change and if it does for how long but a part of me loves him and I will always wonder what if he really wanted to change his life around for us.

Welcome to Support Groups. Not the greatest club to be part of but your're in the right place for your situation. There are many caring and great people here to lend support and advice. You are doing the right thing keeping your distance. You may love him but I think you need to move VERY slowly with your relationship with him. If he truly loves you he will take as long as you need to be comfortable with him. He needs to stop the single life if he is committed to you. Being single for 9 years is no excuse. He can't have it both ways and moving forward he must prove that he only wants you. Very hard for him to prove but the burden is on him. Again, take your time with him. If you jump right back to him, he may not respect you and go back to his single days. Show him what a strong, independent person you are and that you don't need him for your happiness. Couples therapy is a good step as well but I would suggest it's him that needs therapy. Make him sign up for individual therapy as well. He has also had multiple, random partners in a short period of time so I would make get tested for STD's before you sleep with him again. If you've slept with him since finding out about hits other partners, you should get tested too.

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@Piwo33 thanks for ur advice, yes he is going to seek therapy on his own too but I think I let him back too quick bc that day we talked I ended up going back to his home and spending the night bc he was going out of town for 2 weeks. I was so vulnerable after seeing him in person and hearing all the things he was saying. I took a step back yesterday and assured him I will not move back in with him anytime soon bc I don’t trust him and that it would take a lot more than words. Now I hope he doesn’t lose respect for me bc I gave in so easily. Now how do I show him I’m strong and independent?

I totally agree with you but I will take it one day at a time.

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