Hi, new here, and new to this stupid cancer. I'm waiting

Hi, new here, and new to this stupid cancer. I'm waiting to have Moh's in about 2 weeks, and I scared to death. The biopsy was ungodly painful, I just can't imagine what this is going to be like. And every night when I wash my face I see it, this huge spot on my nose, and I know it's cancer and I just want it gone. I feel stupid because for 4 months I thought it was some kind of pimple, and I covered it with make-up. I covered cancer with makeup, and I feel so stupid. I just want it gone. I'm having really hard time coping right now. And it's not the cancer itself, because I know I can beat that... it's the loss of everything else. No more sun, no more standing outside and letting the sun warm my face. The doctor said absolutely no exposure for atleast a year. How do you go without sunshine for a year? And no one gets it. Everyone keeps saying oh it'll be fine, so and so has had it for 10 years, blah blah. So today when a friend was pretty much belittling every feeling I was having I startled her and said omg there's a spider on you. And she jumped and screamed. And then I said, if you're that afraid of a bug that you can step on, imagine having cancer on you. She walked away. Can anyone else relate? And can anyone tell me about what to expect from this surgery? Not a doctor please, unless you've actually had skin cancer.

Hi Kate24,

I know how it feels when no one understand what you are going through and people tell you everything is going to okay and belittle your problems. I'm not going to try to do that, instead I'm going to share a story of a young man who found out he had melanoma at 26 and had to battle with it. I hope you find it useful or at least interesting. If you need to talk I'm here for you. Please don't be discourage and I know you will get through this. My heart goes out to you.

Not all male melanoma patients are age 50 and up: Air Force pilot Taylor Todd, now 26, had a potentially deadly melanoma removed when he was just 25. “One of my flight surgeons noticed a mole on my head. He told me to make an appointment,” recalled Todd, now stationed in Iraq. He obeyed, but then cancelled the appointment. Luckily for Todd, “the flight surgeon made me reschedule!” What the pilot had dismissed as a harmless mole turned out to be a melanoma, and Todd promptly underwent surgery to remove the skin cancer. The scar is still visible.

Todd was lucky: head and neck melanomas can be particularly dangerous because they lie so close to the circulatory and lymphatic systems, which can easily carry melanoma cells to the brain and all over the body. According to a study at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, among 51,704 non-Hispanic white adults with melanoma, patients with melanomas of the head and neck were almost twice as likely to die from the disease as patients with melanomas in other body sites.

Like many young men, Todd had never been careful about sun protection: “I didn’t always listen to my mom about putting on my sunscreen! And usually when I didn’t wear sunscreen, I would burn.” Since his diagnosis and treatment, Todd has changed his ways, and outdoors he wears sunscreen “all the time,” along with his long-sleeved flight suit and a broad-brimmed hat that protects his skin from the harsh desert sun.

“If you do find something that looks abnormal or one of your moles doesn’t look right, go to your doctor,” Todd urged. “If your doctor tells you to take it seriously, take it seriously! I almost blew it off and I could have lost everything … just because I didn’t put in that little extra time to do what the doctor told me to do.” In addition to examining your own skin head-to-toe once a month and going in for a full-body skin exam once a year (more frequently if you’ve had skin cancer), “Make sure to take the 30 seconds to a minute it requires to put on sunscreen and a [broad-brimmed] hat before you head outside,” Todd said. “Do everything that you can to help prevent skin cancer.”

(source: skincancer.org)

Kate, Im really sorry your support system at home is letting you down. What you really need is someone to just let you talk and not expect you to be one way or another. The wait is horrible. I wish the medical system could come to a place where there is no waiting between diagnosis, surgery, drug treatment. My sister had a skin cancer taken off her nose in Vancouver General Hospital, in 2010. What they did was take off one layer at a time and send it down to the lab. If the lab called and said it had bad cells the surgeon took another layer. So layer by layer until they had clean margins. Once they had clean margins all around and underneath they did a skin graph from skin from her upper arm. She said the arm was more painful than her nose. Besides getting the whole thing, they will also be able to tell you what type of skin cancer it is and what stage it is at after they remove it all. Those are things you Need to know to plan with your doctor what further treatment if any you require. If it is like my sisters she needed no further treatment. But be prepared for a drug therapy to recommended as well. Once you know what exactly you are dealing with read up on everything you can get your eyes on about that type and stage. You have to know what you are dealing with! But for the next two weeks you need to take care of yourself. Do things that help you unwind. Go running, swim, bike ride, dance, whatever it is you need to find it and do it. Your body needs to be as strong as it can be to get you through what is coming and being tired, stressed, undernourished, will not help you.
If you want to talk Im around.

Thank you both so much for sharing your support and encouragement.
I truly feel as if no one gets this, and just makes light of it. It helps to know that
Someone will listen, thank you :)

Kate, I just had an epiphany. Maybe those around you are making light of it thinking they are helping keep your mind off the dark side of the diagnosis of cancer. Maybe they too are scared and are trying hard to be positive so you don't see how worried they are. Just a thought. Can I ask what day your procedure is so I can say a special prayer for you that day? Hugs!

Good morning Kate.
I woke up this morning thinking it must have been two weeks by now and sent up a prayer for good results for you. If it is anything like here once the doctors do what they do the wait until the results from the lab come in is hard too. Know I think about you and pray every day you and your doctors caught this early and you will be unscarred and well in no time.