Hi, this is my first time here too or in any support group. When I joined, there was a box that said "how are you feeling?" I answered in length. Where did it go? I'm getting frustrated trying to navigate these sites. I've tried to join several today & they are very confusing. This one is the best so far. I went to FAQ's but freezes when I try to tap on link. Anyway, again, I am the mother of a 34 yr old heroin addict son. He wont help himself. I dont know what to do. It has been 4 yrs.
Oh, I just saw this and honey I am so sorry. I have seen people beat the beast. Some of my stepsons friends have they are going on several years clean. How long has he been using?
@jade1964 4 years. I have gone through the withdrawal with him several times & he keeps going back to it.
has he ever overdosed?
@jade1964 in fact, he lives with his grandmother & she doesnt even know. I hate keeping the secret but he says it would be too much for her and kinda makes threats he will do something bad if i tell. Yes, hes really pissing me off & every other emotion.
No
OMG!!! so is he able to support himself? what if his supply of money runs out? Honey, I'm sorry but I don't think it's a good thing she doesn't know, and its just my opinion. Our son was in very very deep, we didn't know how deep until he was briefly sober. He stole from everyone, jewelry, money, tools, you name it. The sad part is he was a good kid that just went down the wrong road. My husband would travel for work and he would have his dealer come to our house while I was at work, could have been a bad situation.
@jade1964 right…my kid was a good kid too! I am shocked. Well, it’s his dad’s mom…his dad & I broke up when Jade was 2 …so 32 yrs ago. We havent kept in touch…I had full custody…anyway, his family on that side is very judgemental…I’m not sure how they would react & if they disown him or something…im just afraid of what my son will do. Probably not right…he’s kind of holding me hostage and yes I do resent it. He works full-time for his dad & makes good money but you’d think they would notice he’s not progressing or just look at him!! He looks terrible.
OIC, they can be good hiding it though. I tried to tell my husband a few years ago that something was wrong that he looked sick. My husband said he has always been skinny and I said no something is wrong, that was Christmas about 7 years ago three months later he was living with us because his mom couldn't handle him anymore
Understanding or brutal honesty may just help with dealing with the situation, or at least opening up a line of communication? No telling what is the trigger unless you address, no telling who or what is triggering, maybe himself, maybe someone else, his experience of things.. Keep communication open. Most addicts will hate something about themselves, their addiction being one. Stay away from the you should not be doing this and find out the reason from them. No-one will stop when told they shouldn't, because that's their only way of coping, without alternatives, they wont see a different way and will fall back to the go to remedy..
@annoyedwithhisbullshit Thank you. I’ve tried every angle…I dont know what to do anymore. Offered to pay for rehab, actually signed him up & paid for methadone clinic & counseling…he didnt go. I have been patient, understanding & non-judgemental. I have been loving & supportive. I have been sad and angry. I dont know. Do I just wait?..for I dont know what? So tired of this…he is hurting my baby.
Im so sorry you are having to go through this, I really am. Addiction is a b***h to get out of, unless they get intervention beyond their control or they really want to, I cant imagine how hard it must be for you to watch this from the sidelines but that is it. You should know that you can't do anything more than you are doing already. Just keep talking to them, have clear boundaries and controlled open doors xx Big hugs!!
@annoyedwithhisbullshit Thank you 