Hi there! Im new here, I have been looking for people I could talk to.... I have been dealing with not only poly cystic ovarian syndrome but also endometriosis I was diagnosed with endo in 2002, and the pcos in 2008. I know some people would say its bad to put your business out there, but I am struggling in my marriage, as my husband is angry when I turn him down for sex, in the last year I had an IUD put in to stop my periods, but that doesnt stop the pain. I dont know how else I can get him to understand that sex hurts, when I do give in, I end up bed ridden for 3 days. At this point the Dr's dont know what else to do than treat the pain with pain pills.I have tried the metformen and it made me so sick I could barely leave the bathroom. I am struggling so hard with this and I just need to talk to people who understand what I am going through..
Hi there and thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry you are going through that & I can only imagine how hard it is on you or your husband. Have you seen a doctor who specializes in endometrosis or women's sexual health? If not I would recommend seeing someone who specializes in your condition-because I know in many cases there are several options for drugs, hormone treatment surgery etc to help alleviate pain. My sister had severe endometrosis & it also interfered w/ her sex life because it was too painful for her. The doctors recommended a partial hysteroctomy-but my sister wanted to try for another child so she opted out of that one. My sister tried holistic options such as diet, raiki, & accupunture to mainage pain & because she missed the initmacy w/ her husband she tried several different positions to find something that felt comfortable for her. Her sex life was not what it use to be-but her husband understood & hated seeing her in pain. Not to be too graphic-but I know my sister was worried about not pleasing her husband-and even tried other forms of intimacy-such as oral sex to please him.
That said-I think it is important for your husband to understand that you have a disease that is causing sex to be very painful to you. I think often men do not want to hear about women's health issues-so they blocked them out & don't realize it is physically too painful for you to have sex & that is why you are not sleeping w/ your husband-not bc you don't want to. I think if your husband views this as an illness (such as he would if u had cancer etc)-he will be more supportive & i am sure he will encourage u finding treatment. In the mean time, you might want to find other ways to be intimate w/ ur husband other tham traditional sex. A physical part of the relationship is an important part of a marriage & I think you both would benefit from alternative ways to be intimate (be it kissing, oral. different positons etc). Please only do what you are comfortable with & best of luck.
Thank you for your reply, I have already done lupron, surgery, hormone therapy. They refuse to do a hysterectomy as they say it would be pointless as it (endo) would still be there even if they did take everything out. I have tried to include my husband with the treatments, the dr's explain to him whats going on, we have tried oral, but he still pushes for sex, he will wake me up to pick a fight over sex. I have tried everything I can think of to try to get him to understand, ive even compared it to cancer... not that endo is life threatening....but because of all this I have lost the feelings I felt for him. It makes me so sad that the man I married is angry with me all the time because of sex. Its gotten to where I dont even want sex anymore because of the pain.....Ive suggested counselling but he refuses to go.
I am so sorry that your husband is being so unsupportive. I really hate that some men do not understand women's health issues (not to sound evil but I'd love for them to get severe pain in their penis & be forced to have sex). My husband is not the most understanding guy in the world, & often just expects sex even if I'm not in the mood bc we are married (i have slept w. himin the past just to avoid an arguement or stop his whining-so I do relate to an unsupportive husband), so I could only imagine the problems you have w. this illness & an unsupportive husband. My sister-who has endometrosis-is lucky to have a supportive/kind husband but even so I know how upset she has been because she is not always able to be intimate w. him & also since her surgery she feels not as attractive etc.For your own well being- I would suggest trying a holistic diet for endometrosis & maybe even acupunture/raiki or other non-conventional treatement-bc I know that helped my sister.I hope&pray that your husband changes his attitude & maybe is willing to go to counseling. You will be in my thoughts & prayers-and if you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you!