Hey everyone
So on Sunday I'm heading to Thailand for a holiday.. It will be fun of course, im going with my family, and we havnt been on a family holiday like this since I was six.
Only difference between now and then is the ED. All week iv been so stressed about the food, weight gain, calories, and not able to count cals or weigh myself anymore I'm totally freaking out! To the point of excessive self harm, going to hospital (and being rejected admission(, and the other night i was so anxious I almost passed out, i just sat there unable to even speak more than one or 2 word answers. I couldnt work either. Doctor prescribed me Kalma, a low dosage, which knocked me out last night so I didnt get much of a chance to get anxious.
But yesterday my therapist rand for our check-in call, and I'd say that really helped, we agreed I'd eat just very small portions and only eat what I feel comfortable with, but I still have to eat regularly.
Anyway, so off to thailand tomorrow. Think ill get internet while I'm away..
anyway, sorry for my selfish rant, just needed to get it out.

Hey Wingz, Sounds like a facinating opportunity to see different things and people. I don't totally understand ED, but I think it's a coping action for feeling out of control. I know the feeling of being out of control. Life isn't easy and everyone fakes being in control a lot of the time. If you can try to focus on this great trip with your family and do what your Doctor says, eating small meals I think you'll feel more in control, and have a good time. If you could try to take in all the new sights and sounds and use this as an escape from your regualar day to day life I think you can have a great time. Let us know how much fun you have. Hugs, Raylene

Hey Raylene
thank so much for your support... its a good opportunity i htink to distract myself from normal things that usually occupy my mind... You're totally right. thank you so much, I hope you're doing really well, I don't really know ur story but what uv written as ur status.. Stay strong, theres always hope.
Ash x

Thats awesome that your going on holiday to thailand!!!! It will be amazing!!!! Like you said, this is going to be a good time for you to just sort of get away from everything. Plus I hear Thailand is beautiful, let it stun you so much that all the negative feelings almost melt away. You are obviously struggling so let this be a time to find yourself and treat yourself to a nice restful holiday. Have fun and keep in touch!!!

Wingz, Thank you so much for your concern for me. It means more than you can know. Our 30th anniversary is this Sunday, and also is the 6th month since his funeral. I will always miss and love him. We all have our crosses to bear. We are here for you as you are for us. This site has helped me so much getting my mind off my problems by sharing what life's experiences has given me. I am so greatful to have all of you to share with. Now you relax and let yourself enjoy this great escape and forget lifes problems for awhile, you deserve it. Hugs, Raylene