Hoping for some advice had a fairly good week last week and just from last night started to spike and these thoughts started overtaking haha believe it or not all started from looking at a fridge on Come Dine With me as I thought oh nice fridge as it had beers and pizzas then started thinking oh must mean I wnat to live with a guy. Bottom line I was wondering if I went out with a lass devoted my time to her do you think it would help me form a connection and overcome my fears and thoughts or not? Thank you and hope your all having a gooden
To go out with a girl just to get over this is perhaps not such a good idea...If it happens naturally it might be different, but anything that you start out doing with the mind-set: "I am going to do....and not think about my ocd" will probably end with you thinking about it all the time
Fair enough just wondered its just since these thoughts I havent natually loved a girl. Where as right up to these thoughts it was so easy
Guess thats part of the HOCD anyway haha but obviously that makes me think well isnt that just denial haha never ending circle
You know it! :D
Do you think the feelings are still there but just hidden behind all the thoughts then fella?
Yea we all get that. How weird is it, that part of this is that you think you don't have it? Specially since i never had any form of ocd in the past (that i know of, of course) Anyway i saw Shutter Island last week. Not saying that is a prime example for denial but i think it mirrors it better than obsessing about the one thing you fear you are in denial about. What i mean is: If we were in denial we would not think about it 24/7
Shutter Island is it any good haha? sorry so does that mean I am in denial haha just a bit confused? but yeah I never really noticed my ocd but nw I went out for a run and came back was going to go for another but didnt because I thought it would mean I was gay haha weird I know but yea get me?
As i said: (I think) if we were in denial we would not think about it. Also I sure hope my feelings for girls will come back someday. And, yes Shutter Island is good. Watch it.
Its weird had a cracking week then all of a sudden just came back again haha and im pretty sure its HOCD as I suffer from OCD quite a lot and after a coment my teacher made and a gay experience which I didnt imply the idea and regretted it straight after which makes me think it is HOCD just like everyone else here struggling now
I think if you can read other HOCD sufferer's posts on here and you can understand their pain, that means you do indeed have HOCD. Non-sufferers do not get it...... only ocd specialists understand what we are going through and fellow sufferers. When I first learned of HOCD I knew immediately it was what I had/have, it just seemed to click (I think we would know if it wasn't what we are experiencing) but I still wondered if I was in denial. I think you know too that you HOCD otherwise you wouldn't be on here.
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Its that I have had gay experiences most when I was just yound curious and as most horney then my teacher mad a coment when I was gettig told off due to me being accused of doing something homophobic then after having a another gay experience not because I wanted it just it was late at night I was trying to sleep and they were pestering after felt regret and **** basically. After reading on the internet someone with a simlar story they had a gay experience and regretted it after and it said that it was denial ever since had a **** day
I don't really understand what you're saying, sorry. It's a bit unclear.
Basically ive had gay experiences. Mainly when I was little just involved (W***ing off). Then never thought of it being gay as I was doing for any readon then I was just horney and I suppose a bit curious. Then during the last month of secondary school I got in trouble for something that was seen to be homophobic my teacher said those who are homophobic usually come out gay. I then had another experience this wasnt because I wanted it the thought never crossed my mind as at the time I was truley in love with a girl but it happend afterwards I felt denial and sick. Now today I looked at what is denial and some said they had a secual experience and felt sick and regretted it. However one of the comments was this is denial no its left me thinking what if I am
We all wonder if we are in denial. People who are actually in denial of their sexual orientation, don't wonder if they are in denial. It doesn't even cross their mind. Anything sexual or taboo can get people off.
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Great point well made I know this sort of reassurance isnt great just been one of them days but do appreciate it thanks
I just cant believe I had gay experiences the thought of it only makes me feel sick and worse I just dont know why never regretted anything like this its started these thoughts and I just only wish I could turn the clock as I never really wanted it :/
I thought I had a gay experience... maybe it was even a gay experience.... but through analyzing thanks to HOCD (if that's what I have), I realized what I was actually doing. I'm not going to go into details but I know now that I was actually stimulated by my own feelings of sexiness (that sounds weird and evasive I know. It's hard for me to share but those who do know say it has nothing to do with being gay) and not because I was desiring another woman. Maybe you're in the same boat!? Maybe your gay experience was about how good it made you feel sexually rather than who you were desiring....? Does that make sense?
A bit like I had eexperiences in the past I was young and curiosus however had one last year I didnt introduce the idea and said no 4 times but they kept going on so they *Tossed me off they asked me to do it back but said no I felt sick and regretted it but just wish I never had these experiences and during it it wasnt about it being a guy it was just a case of sexual stimulation and loved a girl at the time but since had these thoughts and sturggle to feel how I used to about girls / women
You know what, I went to a birthday party when I was 18. All the girls were making out to get attention from the guys there. My friends asked me to join but I had absolutely no interest in doing so. Anyways, in exchange for the girls making out, the guys had to do the same with each other. I remember one guy was okay with it and the other guy almost puked in his mouth because he didn't want to do it. He was really distraught about it. He kissed the other guy anyways because the guys wanted the girls to kiss. He basically succumbed to peer pressure like you. I'm positive that this guy regretted it after. Generally people regret doing something they don't find enjoyable or go against who they are.
We all have experiences with doing things we regret. I ruminated over my past several times to look for signs of being gay and to prove I am straight.... it was non stop. I researched online about all the things I did as a child and I learned that most people regret things that they did as a child, that most people feel guilty and shameful about something. I also learned that it's completely normal and part of sexual development to explore and be curious about the same sex through play - such as playing doctor. It's also perfectly normal to try kissing the same sex just because you are curious. I haven't done that but I have read that it's part of growing up. It's about exploring and figuring out who we are. Boys and girls are curious about all genitals and stimulation. Teenagers are curious and it's fine - I'm not saying you are curious... but you were coerced into doing it and therefore what you should feel bad about is that someone forced you to do something you really didn't want to do. It's not your fault. I understand though that you feel guilty because you participated. You know there is nothing wrong with being gay, but it isn't who you are so this experience bothers you. Just let go of the past because the past no longer exists and it doesn't get you anywhere to analyze it. I know it's hard to stop ruminating but you have to try - that's what counts!! Each day it will get easier with practice.