This is the first time I have ever talked about this problem. It's so hard for me to admit, but I am a binge eater. I have lost so much self esteem, gained so much weight, and spent so much money, all because of this disgusting obsession I have with food. I don't know what is wrong with me - I feel like I waste my life eating. No one knows - I make a point of insuring that no one finds out how much I eat. It's so embarrassing and sometimes I really hate myself - I don't get why I can't just stop. I do it more when I'm feeling down, but I still do it even when I'm having a good day and then it makes me feel really down that I even did it in the first place. I feel so stupid. Sometimes I make up my mind that I'm going to stop and I feel really confident about it, but then I always blow it. I'm not even honest with my doctor or therapist... I've even contemplated not posting this several times, but I HAVE TO do something. I can't live like this anymore and I figured that with the anonymity of the internet, I could share this with people who understand.
Dear JayneDoe,
It's great to have you online. This a very good place to start.
Binge eating is a behavior disorder. It's not about food, it's about your relationship to food. Do not feel stupid. You are NOT alone. You will be amazed at how many people suffer from binge eating, anorexia, etc...unfortunately, it's a disturbing amount (and those are the cases that are reported).
Food has become your best friend: you eat when you're happy, sad, lonely, frustrated, etc..It's a bitter sweet, love-hate relationship. This is a bahavior pattern in which you will have to relearn.
Ceasing your binge eating will only worsen the disorder. Confide in your therapist, your doctor. If your personalities don't mesh well, change therapist/doctor.
You must relearn what food is, has become to you.
Binge eating is a prison. Break the cycle. Break free so you can ENJOY food without the guilt. It's possible, very possible. Do it...one step at a time.