Horible binging weekend what i do i hate myself

i didnt starve myself at all this week didnt even think abut restricting and even after two binges this week i really binged yesterday like i couldnt even believe an entire box of cookies a donut a sandwhich and three or four bowls of ceral and three glasses of milk all this after eating normal all day why am i doing this am i trading one fucking ed for another this one was scarry cause one half was before i went to bed and the other was when i woke up in the middle of the night im so scared this was neither planned nor provoked and im scared im going to therapy i found a free place to go i just hope they can help me with this i dont want to trade under eating for over eating god please let this horrible cycle of eds stop i hate it please let this place be able to help people with eds

I can so relate acoustiyears...

I did that last night as well, binged, then woke up in the middle of the night, and then again in the morning...and I had already had bad binges during the week, and also felt like I was doing alright and not even really restricting and ate "normally" all day but still ended up in a binge at night. I struggle at night the most I can distract myself all day...even when I try not to restrict and eat well during the day sometimes I still binge at night and that frustrates me.

Hang in there, my computer is going to shut off soon so I have to send this now...it has issues

well at least someone is going through the same thing that makes me feel better ive been trying to find out if this is normal behavior for revovering people and ive gotten no where basically half its normal youll go back to normal once your body learns to trust you that your not going to starve it any more but ive also gotten half no your developing a new disorder so im freaking out i dont know im going to a thearapist pretty soon or i hope and that will be the final awnser i know a thearpist will know whats right and wrong and hopefully help me get over this new phase also im so glad somebody responded and somebody understands and can relate i trully hope the best for us i really do

I'm there too. I went from annorexic to now.. I'm binging constantly. Its like there is a tension that is only relieved when I eat. I'm at a university in new york where there is no treatment for ed's so I'm trying to deal with this as best as possible. Its not helping much. After every binge i tell myself.. this is the last time.. but within a day or two another binge happens. I can't control it. I went from a perfect body to now.. I feel like I am just a shadow of my former self. I'm out of control.