OK, so I really need advice! Please, anyone. I went to the drop in evaluation, and because I'm not eating and my OCD of checking and worries about tampered things that are contaminated makes it hard for me to start meds they recommended I be hospitalized. Which is more freaky than opening a yogurt without checking the seal for me! So, what are my options? I'm a grown woman. I feel terrible, but I've considered asking one of my parents to come. They are all I have really. They are both working professionals and in this economy lucky to have a job. Plus, with their age, I'd hate to have them risk their positions because unemployment so close to retirement (about 5 years for each) is super scary. So, yeah, basically I've written myself out of this idea. Plus, the idea is to cope on my own. Which is why I don't understand how a hospital will help? It will only get me use to trusting things in the controlled hospital environment. What happens when I get out? Anyone done a hospital stay for OCD?
84 days for dysthymic disorder and identity problem was my longest stretch. The hospital will help in several ways. You will not be simply prescribed meds, and left on your own to take them. A scary part of ocd like you stated you have an issue with making sure things are not tampered with, is you phsyc yourself out of the idea of taking the meds that were prescribed to help you with your condition. In a controlled monitored environment it may help you to feel safer about taking the meds. I used to have them leave them in individual bubble packs like paxil comes in until it was time for me to take the meds, then I would get them from the nurse's station myself instead of waiting for the tray to come around. no one can touch them, see them, breath on them, that sort of thing. I refused several times when it looked to me like a corner was peeled back. Trying to cope on your own is never the viable option. When help is available, take it! The more the better! It will get you used to trusting yourself in a controlled environment, then as you are ready a transition will begin so you are ready to trust yourself on your own. When you get out of the hospital you will have more help available to you than before. Others will see you are serious about getting things under control. They never send you off to battle with a paper shield, you will have a solid treatment plan set in place. Do not feel terrible, feel empowered! Help is available, and you are going to use all available resources to regain control of your life. It is a good thing! Put a smile on your face and thing about some happy times. Hope you are doing better.
You are in my prayers. Wishing you all the best. God bless you always.
Thanks. I didn't realize that there would be ways for me to negotiate. I'm under the impression that in a hospital, there will be rules I will just have to obey. I mean, I understand going to a hospital means I want to accept help. However, I would hate to feel controlled and sort of imprisoned. I am thinking about going but I'm also trying some more CBT to see if I can start meds on my own. Being in hospital means dropping out of this school term and I can't afford that. I think the fallout from that would make me super depressed and set me back emotionally and health wise in any case. Just 3 more weeks and then I will have 3 weeks off to make a more concentrated effort. If things get super bad again I will check myself in. I don't have much other choice.
Yes, I understand totally about the delicate balance act. Weighing out the initial loss for the overall gain in the long term. What can you do substantially now to quickly aid yourself into a more positive, healthier direction without checking into the hospital? Golly I have been there so many times, this burden you have, this dilemma you have. Cognitive development therapy works, but there is also the chemical imbalance side of things. Are there any small steps you can make that would aid you in being able to start a med routine from home while engaging in the CBT? Break down the three more weeks into smaller sections taking the grand weight of the overall scope then putting in more manageable sections you can carry more easily. "Today I am going to try this___ along with my regular routine because it will help me better myself in a positive way..." "I love myself, and I am worth the extra effort to try this___" Goal is to get rid of the disparity, and replace it with more hope. You do have more options, there is more outside support for one.