I was a very happy and good spirited person, I loved people and going places and doing things. Then by listening to others negativity and mean comments about me. Oh jenn if you dont lose weight your gonna drop dead of a stroke or heartattack. Or have health problem way beyond repair. But guess what? I was HAPPY!!!!!! That was STOLEN FROM ME NOT BY WEAKNESS BUT BY FORCE TO DO SOMETHING I WAS NOT PREPARED TO DO. I watch my so called best friend go through this ED and she had very little complications. And came out beautiful as i saw. But little did i know it was killing her inside.
She had said to me 12 years back, Jenn you must be so unhappy with your weight. How are you ever going to have something great to offer a good man if you dont loose the weight? Men are all about looks and body image. She took me to that place we dred so much that now calls my NAME JENN. And she showed me how she did it graphiclly. I was appolled by how gross it was. Then THE SEED WAS PLANTED. I started to obsess about everything i did everything i ate everything i wore. I WAS SO OBSESSED TO LOOSE WEIGHT AND THIS IS WHERE I SIT TODAY. Thin as heck bonny cheeks bonny legs and hands and neck and body. I look older then i am. I lost lots of teeth and have health problems and still im obsesst with me. I am more scared of the mirror now then ever before at least i saw someone who was more healthy then what i see now. So i have to go in and out of the bathroom 4-6 times by the time i am bathed and dressed for the day. I am sorry for putting this ED on my family and friends who have to see me like this. And for everyone else who walks past me and stares. I hide on my bad days in the house like a hurmet and with that i had an addiction to laxatives and diearetic. I AM NOT A BENGER AND PURGER. I EAT LITTLE AND GET RID OF THAT LITTLE SO WEIGHT FALLS OFF OF ME LIKE BIG CLOTHES DO. I AM NOT CONSIDERED A SIZE CAUES ITS NOT ON THE TAGS AT THE STORE. TODAY IS SOMEWHAT OF AN OK DAY SINCE I BOUGHT 8 DIFFERENT BOTTLES OF VIETIMS THAT MY BODY HAS LACK A GREAT DEAL OF AND THEY HAVE GIVEN MY SOME ENERGY BUT YET I DONT EAT MUCH ON ANY GIVEN DAY. MY CALORIE INTAKE IS LESS THEN 200. MY SODIUM IS LESS THEN 20MG. MY SUGARS ARE NEXT TO NOTHING. MY POTASSIUM WAS WAY UNDER THAT LANDED ME IN MY OWN ROOM AT THE HOSPITAL CAUSE I BLACKED OUT IN MY FRONT YARD AND THE NEIGHBOR CALLED 911. The kept me for a week. Then coming home at the end of that week found out i had lost 5lbs in the hospital. How can this be happening to us and why such HURT? My back has started to burn when i sit for more then 10 min. on a chair.
I SIT HERE AND WONDER HOW AND WHY ME WHY US?
AND STILL I AM A GREAT AND WONDERFUL AND CARING PERSON. BUT NOW PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO ASK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. IF YOU HAVE ANY ANSWERS TO THIS LIFE WE LIVE IN SUCH AGGONY PLEASE GIVE ME SOME HOPE AND INSITE.
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.
YOUR SUPPORT AND FRIEND JENN.
People fear what they dont understand...
jenn, please do not any numbers re weight, size, calories, BMI at all.
do you get any profeesional help? counselling, support group etc?