How aplant can make me so stressed

Hey im 4 years with my boyfriend. and he is like a great person. I found out about 3 or years a go he smokes pot. It makes him happy and relaxed and and he enjoys it.He is frinedly and doesnt abuse it or anything. Of course living with him i too have smoked a couple of times no doubt. But just because i know its wrong and against the law , i hate it. Not literally the plant, but what that plant can do. It got worse for me now that we have a baby. No one smokes in the house when the baby is in the area. Everybody goes outside. He has a plant now aswell and that just makes me get so angry at times. I have never been this way before. I dont scream or shout with him about it or go on like a crazy woman. but we have talked about it.Im so scared if the wrong person finds out, they will take away my baby and ill have the view of a bad mom. At the same time i want to grant him happiness make esseptions for him but its soo hard going against what i believe. I dont want to loose him cause his a great partner and amayzing dad, i dont want to stirr our family and be the possible reason we break up. i just dont know what to do. ...i lately have a couple of friends on the internet(im not cheating or anything like that)but i like to watch women. They are really beautifull. How our bodies are and can be seductive, how we dress...do i sound crazy??.....anyway, but im not sur if i wil go in a relationship just cause i no its wrong but i have always been interested in kissing a girl.Even if im in a relationship. Is this considering weird or what and does the two subjects have anything to do with each other....

Hello Chrisslee. I don't think social smoking is a big deal, but I can completely understand where you are coming from. I've dated men who smoked, but abused the habit in my standards. With my experience I learned that you "lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink." Try asking for sober dates with your boyfriend. Express to him that even though you find him fun regardless, you want to make it a point for him to put the pipe down for you. If he can sacrifice a smoke every so often and spend the time with you, I think that's a really good start.
And about your curiosity to kiss a woman, I say do what you feel you must. Treat every day like you're filling your bucket list. You have a child who has unconditional love for you, and a partner that is by your side. Have you discussed these feelings with your partner? Perhaps you should. See what he thinks about it.
Take care.

Thanx krisnic for the reply:)i think thats a good idea. I will definitley try it out. You see , thie thing is , my bf is funny and nice when he smokes and i dont mind , once again its just because im scared he.. we get caught out and then legal procedures can be taken like my baby taken away, our home seperated.I mean , you hear about this every day on the news where it happens in your area etc. It sometimes feel like his willing to sacrifice that for a pipe cause he smokes every evening and every morning. and afternoons sometimes. if he did it only like 3 or 4 days once off i might feel better.

I do think that with the given circumstances the plant is too much. Maybe if you tell him how uncomfortable it makes you feel, perhaps a compromise could be that he keeps the plant at a different address. Maybe a smoker friend can take over, if he really wants to keep it. I admire that you keep your cool so much that you haven't destroyed it already. I probably would have. That's a really good trait to have! Kudos to you. Try to find compromises for these issues you have. There's gotta be a middle ground for this and everything.

oooo i wanted to through it over wall before when his parents came to visit:)lol but i guess its beacause i take him to mind and not just selfish. Cause i mean im not with him cause i want to destroy what he likes or love but im have to take my families future in consideration. I really hope he can compromise for me to.Thank you so much for the reply:)

I really hope he can compromise for you too.

You're most welcome dear.